Crap, that scared the hell out of me! It was like so beautiful at the beginning and I was like, "Hey this should be all right," then it turned to, "this is slowly creeping me out..." and finally on the note on the dirt and the last two lines I TOTALLY freaked out. The only thing that stopped me from screaming was what would my sister think of my insanity when she heard that I screamed.

Honestly, this is the BEST writing I've ever had the fortune to read, the way you did with creeping the hell out of me, that was so..so... good that it surpassed the meaning of words.

Ah well, I'll have to sleep with the lights on.

So...she went insane? Ooh, it gave me the chills. Well, done.

ok...i like it...but it's not creepy at all to go...sorry...but it's .best spent time in my life since...i don't even remember.

*shudders*

You write undeniably well. Bravo!

Oh crap the ending was creepy... but you know this, right?: In lost, the baby's real name is Aaron, and it is a boy. But good job!

omg tht totally spooked me. I re-read it and I saw the Oh Christ Im so scared bit in the beginning and it all clicked together. it totally scared the crap out of me

I was reading this at the same time as listening to some music. As i read the last line, the song ended- the song was 'Under the iron sea' by Keane, and anyone whos heard it knows its creepy in itself! I now have the picture of charlie down that pit firmly in my mind...i swear my hearts beating faster...

I wish it didnt end so fast: possibly say how the others noticed she dissapeared, but hell, that was still the best!

yikes you scare me I have shivers up my back

aye, creepy! *shiver

that was deppressing. it was fabulously written , yet depressing. thankx for the good read though.

I didn't really see what was so creepy about this story... oh, it's good, make no mistake! Very well written.

I just didn't get creeped out like most everyone... until that last sentence.

OMG, I got freakin' CHILLS!

OMG. this is Lils from MNG...Jaye told me to come and read this...this...it sent chills through me! you write so well! WOW!

OMG THAT FREAKED ME OUT! I was all, aw I'll be fine, this is good... Then it was all "I'm cold Claire...I'm licking water off the plants..." and I was getting a bit scared, and then BAM! "Others thought Charlie had come to find her" OMG! That was so good, but I'm gonna be jumping like crazy for days!

Woah. This story is freaky..but great! I loved it.

MEEP.

Now I'm doing that little whimpering noise everytime someone comes near me or I see a flash of light.

I was ok until that last line. Oh my god, that just... you are a genius to be able to write something like that, to be able to creep someone out as much as Steven King would.

Where did you get your ideas from?

This story was just perfect! The way you described things, the way you brought across emotions, the way you conveyed Claire's thoughts of Charlie stuck in a hole in the ground...

But that last line... the thing about that line is that it leaves you hanging, like, like I said, a Steven King novel would. Oh, it just leaves this sense of foreboding.

Ultra-creepy. Genius writing. Going on my favourites list!