A great story. Very well written.

aw. how sadly romantic! *grins evily and thinks: if only I could kill an adult with a quick breath...*

great job!

aw. so sad! I was tearing up. it was sad but so cute

Very beautiful story but ... very very sad.

Peter noticed his love too late for Wendy.

Ironically, I think it was him that ended up killing Wendy with the "fast breathing that it kills the adults".

I nearly cried! This was soo good!

My, how that was sad. Poor Peter, and poor, poor Wendy! Imagine how that must have felt... I really liked this story. Wonderful.

Oh that was so sad but so good! I almost cried! That was a very good idea about how every breath kills an adult. Good Job!

Interesting... this is the first Peter Pan fanfic I've ever read... I love the way there's 'reflection writing' (That's what I call it, for reasons unknown even to myself) at the beginning!

~Annmarie

Fantastic. It's always good to see writers who take their reviewers' criticism seriously and seek to improve, rather than just ignoring the very comments they asked for.

It's clear your writing voice has matured and clarified itself. This is a poignant and thoroughly enjoyable read. I hope to see more from you in the future. Namaste.

kool. Thanks for reveiwing on 'missing' you were the first reviewer i had. thanks a heap. im glad you liked it and i liked this one.

That was beautiful, in a very depressing sort of way. Anyway, I liked it.

Much better.

It still doesn't flow as well as i think it could...but then again...neither does most of my own stuff.

Good job and keep it up. :)

Azul Bloom

"He had loved then and he loved her now" that means her lover HER then right? thats just what i'm assuming. u said u wanted criticism, but i can't think of any! i mean, this is such powerful writing. i want to give u what u asked for, but i cant! ahh i wish i could be of so much more use, but i dont think there's anything wrong. it DID make me sad. such a tragic/love story. its great. thanks for writing this. :) its wonderful.

Oh my God... that was so sad, but so very good. It's wonderfully written and I must be truthful when I tell you that I never *well never is a bot wrong to use, so we'll say rarely* read anything but Harry Potter stories on here, but when I saw the summary, my curiosity was sparked and I just had to read it. Now that I have, I am so very glad that I did, it was a great read and I hope that you will write more like it. Keep up the fabulous work!