An interesting twist here :) I'm not sure if you plan to continue with this (or if it will remain as a one-shot), but now there are so many what-ifs that come to mind about everything else in this scenario you've created. I particularly liked the fact that this first piece was told in Zahir's POV. Different and refreshing.

Yay! An Alanna and Jonathon shipper! I think your take on their marriage is realistic, though I'm not sure if she'd agree so reddily. They've obably ad the fiht about Kel many times before. Looking forward to seeing our my lovely squires get along. Not as good as the monarchs, I'm sure. How many children do they have? Is Jorge still the spymaster? Bet he's a family friend, if anything.

really interesting idea and well written - i would love to see it continued :)

You have to update simply because I LOVE IT! Do I need to spell it out? Well, I just did anyways so... please UPDATE SOON!

Keep Writing,

xxTunstall Chickxx

you should write more. good story. good ideas.

This seems like a very intresting story but I hope that there will be more focus on Alanna and Jon

This is really cool. I do pity Neal. I felt sorry for him when Alanna took him on in Squire...but now she is queen on top of it! I have a question...Did Kel ever have to go on probation? I mean, if Alanna was Queen, she would have had more power, was it enough to convince Jon not to put Kel on probation? Update soon, I am putting this on my list of favorites and on Story Alert

great idea. i love it. when's the next chapter coming up? soon?

oh wow. this is soo good. seriously, wow. i hope you continue, i really liked it and it's really realistic. please continue and soon!

Wow your story as potential. I hope that you update soon.

This is very original. I LOVE IT.

I like it alot. A very nice idea...well written as well. I am looking forward to you writing some more of it, and maybe some longer chapters.

hm...i like it.

cool! i like the idea. you should mention thayet and have some times to get inside jon and alanna's heads.

keep it up

-Bo

good, short chapter though. I cant wait for the next one though