Really good chapter!Ok...so...were are my plushies and cookies?:-D

Are you going to make another one so I can find out what happens to Jen. Will kit get her back or not please keep going

Is Jen and kit be together or not r u going to make another store so I can find out please keep up with a suqel

The spelling errors were rather constant but that was WELL worth the wait...and not the ending I'm sure we'd been expecting, as is tradition with this kind of story. I do however hope there is a sequel or something in the works...no one ever delves into the deities here...so it's something I'd love to see more.

I just read the whole 12 chaps and I was so surprisingly shocked at how much I adored this story. The grammar was a little annoying at times (like "minuet" instead of "minute" [minuet is a type of dance, lol] and "stair" instead of "stare") but after a while I just got used to it (thank goodness for dyslexia that shows me to skip over that poop after a while).

It was a bit confusing when the POV changed but I think that's the site's fault. In my stories, it erased my POV markers, like a dash or whatever. But I don't know. Lol

Anyways, I really enjoyed Jen (biased big time because we share names, lol) n thot it was nice for a change that the O/C didn't win their battles. The fight with Jezzibelle (spel?) was fantastic. I love how she's extremely determined but not super-fantastically strong. It's a nice thing to read from all the charries (including my own, laaaame) in other stories where they always manage to defeat their opponents. I just hope Kit find her, and if any villains come into to play, I hope she's strong enough to defeat them, to get some Kudos.

Anyways, hope this review motivates you to upgrade. I'll be waiting, ever so (im)patiently. :D

I just read the whole 12 chaps and I was so surprisingly shocked at how much I adored this story. The grammar was a little annoying at times (like "minuet" instead of "minute" [minuet is a type of dance, lol] and "stair" instead of "stare") but after a while I just got used to it (thank goodness for dyslexia that shows me to skip over that poop after a while).

It was a bit confusing when the POV changed but I think that's the site's fault. In my stories, it erased my POV markers, like a dash or whatever. But I don't know. Lol

Anyways, I really enjoyed Jen (biased big time because we share names, lol) n thot it was nice for a change that the O/C didn't win their battles. The fight with Jezzibelle (spel?) was fantastic. I love how she's extremely determined but not super-fantastically strong. It's a nice thing to read from all the charries (including my own, laaaame) in other stories where they always manage to defeat their opponents. I just hope Kit find her, and if any villains come into to play, I hope she's strong enough to defeat them, to get some Kudos.

Anyways, hope this review motivates you to upgrade. I'll be waiting, ever so (im)patiently. :D

Good, but I would suggest putting something in between the parts where it switches over to a different group like from YuYu over to Kit and Jen. It gets kind of confusing because I don't know where everyone is

Wow. The summary had me curious and your tone of voice for the intro kept me going. However half way through (where her sister started to beat her up) things really started to creep me out. It just seems too... possible? I guess that's the word.

In any case, while the idea has been done before, it had never been done in this way from what I know. The narrator's voice is refreshing and interesting. Your character is far TOO EASY to empathize with and seems very likeable. Grammar was great as was spelling but for one mistake I saw. Once you wrote "stair" instead of "stare." Other than that it was brilliant.

Unfortunately while I am very interested I'm afraid I am unable to read more. If/When I am able to read, I'll make sure to review in more detail.

Best of luck writing!

-D101

...this makes no fuckin sense...aren't they suppose to be capture and locked up? not servants to the guy? sheesh...this needs more work cause it got me confused right to the bottom, I highly suggest a re-write.

I love your story. I was really afraid I wouldn't like Jen but I have grown to like her and I absolutely LOVE Kit! I don't know if you'll ever finish this story or ever read this review but I just wanted to let you know there are still people that are dying to know if Yusuke actually killed Kubarawa. I've probably reread this story 5-6 times to keep it fresh incase you decide to pick it up again. Horrible cliff hangers!

NOOOO! WHY! Lol i'm so weird anyways i luvz ur story and hope u update soon! Oh and is their a romantic interest between Kit and Jen or Kurama/Youko and Jen? These iz wha i nee to noes!

When you chance povs it gets kinda confusing! However I'm loving your story! PLEASE UPDATEEEEEEEEEE

I can't help reading your story,it's way too good! You need to update it!

At first I thought I wasn't going to like Jen,but so far I do. :)

Hey!

When are you gonna continue the story? I would love she the finish product!