This is the the kind of Lucy/Tumnus story I dreamed of finding. One in which Tumnus is still in-character, but also believable that he does, indeed, love Lucy (not the friendly kind of love, because obviously the two loved each other as friends do - but the almost-there unspoken kind of love that he kinda-sorta-maybe wishes for something more.)

All in all, it was so beautifully written, and rather tragic. /3

Wonderful way to delve into the possible complexity of the Lucy/Tumnus relationship while staying marvelously true to the spirit of the books - adult emotions are handled with delicate, reverent implication only; they lurk beneath the surface rather than being tossed out into the open in all their glory.

There's some classic Christian themes in this story as well (which is quite appropriate, considering C.S. Lewis' background) - the temptation for "forbidden fruit," quite obviously represented by Tumnus' hankering for something more than friendship with a human girl, and the good old "if thine right hand offend thee, cut it off," represented by Tumnus' voluntary removal of himself from Lucy's proximity so as to avoid such constant temptation, even though such an action makes sure their friendship is never nearly as close again.

You handled it all very well, bittersweet ending included!

Wonderfully written! Poor Mr. Tumnus...

Oh, I really liked this one! Narnia's a really important series of books for me, (not as important as Phantom, but you know) and it's completely amazing how well you've handled Mr. Tumnus! It's so sad at the end, but you know it had to happen. Two thumbs way up!

Nice story! I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

xoxo,

Crystal

wow! deep. I love this,. You certainly have a knack for this ,don't you?

This is an absolutely marvelous piece! Your words just paint into the reader's mind, making it beautiful and original. Also, you don't go too far into an 'adult' point of view, you just sort of build upon C.S. Lewis's orininal plot - of how this is just what it is: a friendship story written for children.

You have an amazing gift for writing and an excellent story thus far. I expect great things to come from your writing!

WAHH that's so sad. lucy, you blind fool! ::sob:: but very nicely done. just two very small things-the first paragraph is a bit wordy/confusing. and later, i think you mean incentive, not incitement. but other than that and the sad ending (they totally deserve a happy ending -_-), loved it! XD

This is lovely and bittersweet and so well-written, and I hate that it has to end there. Bravo you.

Excellent! Beautifully written, bittersweet, a tender storyline...what a fantastic take on Mr. Tumnus and Lucy. Well-spent minutes!

You have a strong command of prose, and a real knack for conveying emotion without a lot of dialogue. (Your dialogue is also superb, by the way.) Excellent characterization, too. Lucy's sincere sweetness and child-like warmth and openness fit in with what little we see of Lucy as an adult in the book. She doesn't change. And Tumnus - dear, insecure, self-depricating Tumnus. His voice is clear here.

This piece put my heart in my throat, and I was on the edge of my seat along with Tumnus in the anticipation of his feelings been made known and handled. A heartbreaking ending, to be sure, but I love good angst.

Brava.

OH! *sniffles* Poor Tumnus. Will there be more? I confess, I'm hooked. It can't end this way!

It didn't finish with the sappy ending I expected. Very well-written and eloquent.

Oh, it's so beautiful and sad. It has an elegant melencholy. Will there be more chapters? I feel so desperate for Mr Tumnus in his silent misery.

don't know if you meant it to, but it had a sad feel to the ending...y'know, that he didn't get to tell her...very good though, i really enjoyed it!