That was the most halarious story I have read Ednylove out

Envy was the BOXERS!

BHAHA! lol! that flowed so well great job lol... Ed and his paranoia lol...

hahahahahahahaha! great idea! i loved it! lol envy's so sneaky...and ed does look good in black! :D

hahaha, what an interesting idea, having Envy become boxers...hahah, the colours of the wrapping should have made it obvious enough, stupid Ed ;P

wow, that made me laugh so hard! just the idea was funny! like wow! envy was eds boxers... ... XD

-peace out-

Your ideas never cease to amaze me. Enjoyed this one, along with all the others. The shower scene actually had ME abit creeped out, too. This part was to funny:

“No, dear chibi. I wasn’t the one who sent them. I was them.”

This is truly hysterical. The only problem that I, Grammar Ninja #8, have with it is that your grammar is far from perfect. You have a great style and an eye for humor. However, the only thing that kept me from laughing myself out of my seat was the grammar.

Do not switch verb tenses in the middle of sentences. Please, just don't. It hurts my brain and makes things much harder to read and enjoy. It also incurs the wrath of Grammar Ninjas.

Here's an example of tense switching. It is not the only one, but it will serve. See below.

"I pull back the curtains and let loose a string of angry curses at the person who… wasn’t there. I blink. I could have sworn…" The person ISN'T there. It is prohibited by the Code of the Grammar Ninjas that you use present and past in such a manner. Either you write in present all the way, or you do not. Thus, the sentence must run as follows: "I pull back the curtains and let loose a string of angry curses at the person who… isn’t there. I blink. I could have sworn…" Like that. "I could have sworn" works just fine, I think, since you could indeed, previously, have sworn, but when you look, Ed the narrator (or ratazip the author), nobody IS outside ogling your little tushie.

Another example, which I will be briefer on, is, "When it was at a decent temperature, I step back and pull off my shirt, dropping it messily down to the floor." The water IS at a decent temperature. Having two tenses and the same subject in the same phrase just doesn't work. The Code of the Grammar Ninja forbids it! To possess temporal equilibrium, the phrase must run thus, "When it is at a decent temperature, I step back and pull off my shirt, dropping it messily down to the floor." Thus, it is acceptable to the Grammar Ninjas.

In conclusion, don't switch tenses around, or the Grammar Ninjas will come and get you. Write in one tense or the other. If one point in the story takes you from past to present, it can work, even if it is a bit disconcerting. However, it should not throw the whole story into a state of total discombobulation (a state of chaos).

I love your story, just please, don't switch tenses. A good proofreader will help immensely, and the story will be perfect. It will be hysterical and even more of a joy to read.

May you always possess temporal equilibrium.

~Grammar Ninja #8

Kinda creepy... but the end was funny... It was rather interesting.

nasties, nasties, nasties... o you sick minded person! other words that was pretty funny... but still a little bit unconfrotable... good job... some how i just lost my appitie to eat a pie...

You are an effing genius. xD I was laughing like a maniac for five minutes in a row.

Hehehe...

Funny...

hehehe totaly saw that comming! X3 make him do something pevy again! *starts laughing maniacaly*

hehe..

funny! ;p

..wished they had more sexy action!

nyahahaha!

Heh heh... There was a pun in that last A/N. Short. Heh. I loved this!