Lol

Hello, Khaleda !

So third story i read from ya... and i must for the 3rd time congratulate ya for the great job ! Your material is very interesting and well-written, with great plot / storyline and nice dialogs. Very good job all in all, and with almost no typos or "word oblivion", as i call it. I can tell YOU do re-read and correct your chapters B4 publishing them, unlike others who are too lazy / lack the will to have their text proofread, which is an infringement of one of FF's main rules. So kudos to ya for providing quality both in the content AND in the form of your story.

I particularly appreciated the last 2 chappies, wz the haunting voice first, and the hot hot hot moments bw the sorceresses after. The last chapter was a model of excitement, for the 2 girls... as well as for the readers ! And while i'm not prudish, i liked the fact that it didn't turn mature, because what i wanted to see what a mix of tenderness and arousal / lust, but no more. I like to read lemons every now and then, but i sincerely prefer the tender / sweet / loving / caring moments bw characters. So thanxxxx for writing in that "frame". That last chapter was incredibly intense ! Great great job, so congrats ! In fact, congrats for the whole story, which is very interesting and with a fine plot.

But while i found this story well-written and worth my time, i'm still not gonna favorite it as i enjoyed it less than the two previous ones, especially VH. Why's that ? 3 reasons :

1. I really disliked Selinda. I'm well aware it's your OC, and i think ya did great in your creating her, but while i respect your work on her, i'm sorry to say i still cannot bear her. Not the most hateful character i've come across, but definitely one i strongly disliked.

2. While i appreciated almost all of your chapter, i hated chapter 4 with all my guts. More accurately : i hated Jinx's behaviour, her weakness, her betraying Raven. That was really really awful from her. I felt livid about Jinx and her lack of... i dunno... of character, personality, of will. I felt so so sorry for poor Raven, watching the meteors alone. And so damn angry at Jinx. And hated Selinda so terribly, for making Jinx weak. That chapter was horrible for me. No offense intended, i respect your work, i really do, but the content of that 4th part extremely displeased me. While the last 2 chapters made my days, i loved them.

3. I found the reaction of Jinx - getting drunk regularly in bars - somewhat pathetic. Sorry for putting it bluntly, but it's really banal, commonplace to drown your sadness in alcohol. Something of a cliché, that people all too often do. I didn't appreciate that pitiful reaction of Jinx, which i found really... ordinary. I would have found it far more interesting if she had... well, for instance, punished herself for her messing up her relationship wz Raven by putting scarifications on her skin. That may sound kinda "sick" to ya, deviant, but i honestly would have deemed it far more original if she had had a strong reaction against herself.

These are the 3 negative points for me about your story, in all subjectivity. Perahps you will disagree, perhaps even feel the need to clarify these points, but be sure i DO respect your opinion and your disagreeing wz me. IT's okay if we don't come to the same conclusions : life isn't perpetual agreement, is it ? ;)

But overall, i definitely liked this 3rd story i read, i just won't favorite it, although my feedback on it is predominantly positive. I thank you once again wholeheartedly for your inspired fictions,for sharing your talent wz us all. I may well have found a new favorite author. I will read all yr sTTories, and if i enjoy them all, you'll be another of my fav' author(ess)s. I just started PLUTO this morning, so you can a new feedback either this weekend or next week.

Kudos and congrats galore, dear Khaleda ! You've been doing awesome in the TT archive ! Please go on just as great !

HUgsies !

Léo

This was pretty great. Better than VH, I think. I must say, again you have excelled at making us FEEL the feelings of the characters. Well done. _

This and Violently Happy were great! Thank you! :)

This is a really amazing story. I enjoyed reading every second of it.

I apoligis and beg forgiviness if I am intruding anything but I MUST request that you continue this story series. I believe you have accomplished magnificent amounts of all needed traits in this story. Especially in the fear trait. PLEASE make a sequel to this story sometime soon. With long chapters and a lot of chapters please. I do not mean you have if you do not want to. I am merely asking. So if you do not make another story that is as fine as a fine China Dish. Good-Bye.

I love and hate you... You were right!

Great plot.

First off, loved this chapter. The banter was fantastic, and I really liked the bit with Raven telling her that she liked her hair up, which was basically a subtle way of her telling her that she accepted Jinx for who she is, and that she doesn't have to change everything about herself to please Raven (or at least, that's what I got out of it).

I liked the gradual build up to the who forgiveness bit... nicely done.

The only thing I truly hated about this chapter was the fact that it marked the end of this story. I freakin' love this fic, and was utterly bummed to see it go. Awesome possum, all around.

I think we can all agree that pissing off a Raven is a bad idea, indeed. As is demonstrated in this chap. Sadly, what kept going through my head while reading this was, "Damn, I want her powers..." Seriously.

And Beast Boy getting in on the action, on Jinx's side. Hmm... showing a little bit of his (usually hidden) mature side, giving Jinx a reason to knock herself out of her self-destructive bender.

I'm glad you portrayed Starfire as having half a brain. Sometimes people mistake her exuberance for stupidity, which is definitely not the case. And again, with staying true to the characters: Jinx going for an extended bender, Raven brooding and planning revenge... you nailed it.

So, though this was the breakup chapter, it's one of my favorites. I dunno why, I just like the way the conversation came out. It sounded like I would imagine it would sound, went about how I would expect it to go if something like that were to happen. Both of them pretty much played like they would. So, yeah.

I must admit, I have a soft spot for villains. Not the murderous kind, but the just kinda bad kind (like Jinx, for example, versus say, evil bastard Joker). And we know quite a bit about Raven's life, so it's cool to get to meet someone else outside of the usual cast of characters on the periphery of Jinx's life as well.

At least until you made her a total bitch. But I digress ;)

So, yeah, despite all the badness going on, with Jinx being not so great a girlfriend for a night, and Shimmer being a wretched 'ho, it was all written very well.

I liked the whole bit with Jinx wanting to touch everything in Raven's room (maybe because I am a very curious and tactile person myself), but my favorite part of this chapter is Raven trying to straddle the line between suspicion and trust... and sorta failing. I like the way you portray the awkwardness as they both try to clamp down on the guilt they feel (Raven's for her lack of trust, Jinx for lying and her thievery). Nicely done, and it takes away the whole "Life is just peachy" aspect that some fics have, adding an extra dimension to their relationship.

Here we are, what happens when one tries to go against their baser instincts. I like that she wasn't able to completely break away from her old lifestyle cold turkey. Nothin' wrong with a little relapse.