This is horrible! How could you tell people how to write a FANFICTION! It is called that for the plain reason there are no rules! Maybe those words are turn offs for you, but when you say everyone who do you mean huh? Only yourself!

This was funny!

And just like that, I learned about writing faster than I ever could in school. Granted, it's about writing smut, but still, I paid more attention to this than I did about weird words I wasn't even gonna use in real life. Like hyperbole. I know what it means, but how does that come into play later in life? I don't remember ever saying, "Dude, that's too much of a hyperbole!"
Really, I thank you for the writing lesson! You are an amusing human, and I like to see that there are actually still a few of those.

This is absolutely hilarious! I totally agree that comparing body parts is a total turn off same with using words such as cock and pussy and every good sex scene needs good forplay with the exception of a rape scene which I'm not very fond of. I also find that I don't like it when an author writes "ahhhhh ng oh ah AHHH" I don't know why but I don't like it. I think you have all the points to write a safe zone sex scene.(if that exist, I mean sex is sex) thank you for writing this you made my day!

Hahaha this is brilliant. Great stuff!

This is so funny.
I laughed so hard with all.
I'm not a huge fan of PWP, but I find this pretty interesting your fic.

This is great. I've never read anything like it. Great advice and it's hilarious.

Youre fabulous! This was a spot on guide to writing a sex scene! Just awesome! I too hate the use of "dirty words" in M rated stories. It just ruins it for me. You get all into it and then the writer throws in the word "cock" or "pussy" and it's like "whah whah whaaaah" or however that sound goes! Anyway! All the steamy goodness just flies right out the window! So I'm glad you did this! Great job! And I agree that Pocahontas 2 was a horror! Just awful no matter how you looked at it. Would you believe I've only watched it once in all my years? Couldn't do it again. Just couldn't!

ROFLOL! I loved your responses to John looking at you for the interruptions! I also agree with your opinion on Pocahontas 2.

Seriously, I'm so sick of absolutely disgusting smut & you perfectly explain how to write a great one. I think it's okay to use some dirty words IF you're writing for a modern TV Show or some other kind of recent fandom. But for Pocahontas or anything where those words probably didn't exist-I totally agree, certainly not. :P I am also extremely grossed out by the food references, like you mentioned (some are just unintentionally hilarious, but most are revolting) & another thing I've come across-referring to cum as "her juices" or "his love juice." X( Ugh, talk about squickish. But this was just beautiful. Your humor made it cute & I love that it wasn't disgustingly detailed but still sexy. Great tutorial & story-the smut world needs WAY more writers like you. I applaud this.

I know this story is old and to be truthful I have no idea how I got to this fic but I am absolutely in love with it. :) THank you so much for posting this so many moons ago.

I wish more people would read this. And apply it. I loved it! And I totally agree with all points.

Wow... Now that is brilliant! And beautiful too!

LMAO! this was so great, the humour made it so fun to read. i had to disagree with your dislike for 'dirty' words... if you're gonna write a sex scene, you're already in perverted territory so why not go all out? and as for people being shy.. lol, don't write a sex scene then! but yours was really good and you made some excellent points :) this is really useful for smut-writing beginners because it is very easy to overstep unwritten boundaries as to what readers will like, so well done you XD

This was a brilliant and instructive one-shot. I love the way the characters were integrated into the guide. I'll take note of it when writing my mature scenes :)