I certainly hope this is not what Bella became. The Cullens had been living with humans for a long time, did that change too? I don't think Edward would have told her to forget. They tried to hold on to their memories. Maybe she might have been like that if she did not have the Cullens to help her.
However, if I didn't know their story, I would find it very creatively and well written .

She was selfish and inept at caring for others before she became a vampire. She chose Edward and the consequences, as Jacob rightly points out. What he is missing is that she never cared about the consequences, not even before she changed.

Jacob didn't need to kill her, she was already dead. She didn't need to bite him but she needed to make him hurt. Interesting to consider how much vampirism destroyed the humanity.

You dont do short but you sure do pointless huh? You do contrived and you do silly. You make your characters SOOO unrecognizable that you are not describing the same people as those that are supposed to inhabit that world.. and wow thats some forever you gave Bella. An existance totally without meaning or purpose. There is no love its just being. If thats love she (and you) can keep it. Whatever it is it is NOT life, its NOT living. Bella always was pathetic. That was one of the stupidest most pointless fics it went nowhere and didnt say what you think it said. Jake couild hold Bella but not take her - Jacob would not have stood there and let him self get bit and not react while Bitch Bella sneered - not going to happen. A major problem is regardless of Jakes old feelings YOU are making him a a victim. If he is strong enough to grab and immobilize her. he is strong enough to defend himself. HE would phase almost by reflex. Bella is in pain? . What a fucking joke youve made of this. one of the most contrived by you by far. You need to find a new angle really! No creativity to write the same fic over and over again ya know. Your stuff start s to run on and there is nothing creative about the plot with a few details changed. The end of the day you create noise which is why i suppose you feel the need to explain yourself with notes because your plot is so trite.

But for all of that I dont think Bella or Edward would have bit Jacob. Also if Jacob was strong enough to restrain Bella he should have been strong enough to defend himself. He should of beat the crap out of her.

This is very close to what I imagined would happen when Bella became a vampire... losing her humanity, forgetting everything but Edward and her new existence as an immortal...

Poor, poor Charlie. And Jacob. (I almost feel sorry for Bella in this story, but not quite.)

Charlie lived for FORTY years after Bella's "death", so how did SHE kill him? What was she supposed to do, give up her love and be miserable for everyone else's sake?

And Jacob - hypocrite. I notice HE didn't give up HIS immortality to be "human". He's just whining because Bella didn't choose him.

Personally I like how you did her change so much more than Stephanie did. She made up all of these rules for her supernatural races which were in my mind an insult to vampires and werewolves everywhere. Then she up and breaks all of them just so pathetic Bella can get her wish in every way. I would have liked to see something more of this nature than her horrific excuse of a last novel.

Wow. I mean it. Wow.

This Bella... she's the Bella she would have been if she had been changed without Renesmee. This story, it's so realistic and excellent. This one-shot, to me, is better than the whole Breaking Dawn.

Thank you for writing this story!

I'm amazed. This is nothing like the usual story, where being a vampire is a picnic. This is truthful, and incredibly moving. I nearly cried, you know, and that does not happen often. But reading this - it shows everything perfectly. How Charlie is but a name to Bella. How Jake is only a "mutt" - someone to ridicule. This story is one of the best ones I've read, which is why you can find it in my favorites now ;D.

Basically, one word sums up my annoyingly long review: wow.

Overall, I feel depressed after reading this. But it's an interesting concept and a very good story.

Boy, you HAD to push her, didn't you, Jake? You had to chase her and whine to her. I notice YOU didn't give up immortality, did you? You're still a wolf.

You are an amazing author. Kudo's to you my dear friend.

This was amazing. And very depressing. I had always wondered whether Bella would lose her humanity like this too. And poor Charlie... This is kind of how I imagined the books end, but NO... Stephenie Meyer has to write a totally happy ending for everyone. XD

Great work, I'm favorite-ing it.

I think it'd be quite disappointing if Bella lost her humanity, but I guess if it happens, it happens. This was a really good view of what could happen, and a reason perhaps why Edward wouldn't want her changing.

I'll stop being so analytical.

Oh gosh I really did enjoy it, it was very cool ;D

Interesting concept, but not one of my favorites.