You did a good job writing the story for speaking a differn't language but there are a few problems that can definitly be fixed!

First, Gangsta Spanksta (haha nice name) pointed out that it seems like a "cheap romance novel". I agree that everything seemed a little played out and that more should have happened to get Akane to confess her feelings.

Second, the characters seemed very out of character for most of the chapter. Ranma wouldn't let Akane carry him no matter what unless he was in girl form? Or was he? I was a little confused at that part. Akane wouldn't be so quick to share her feelings like she did in your story but I think it was fine since the story revolved around it. The ending was a little cliche and should have been more built up containing more dialogue.

If you want I would be thrilled to pre-read your chapters for you and help correct the little mistakes because there was a lot. Especially with tenses.

I really liked this chapter though, and I hope you update soon. You did a great job, especially for someone that English isn't their first language! Have a nice day/night.

-Studdevil

Dunno, the first chapter reads like a chapter to a cheap romance novel to me. I would like to see a little more of the real characters personalities here.