ok. seriously she's six months pregers and doing stupid dances? bella is NOT the type of girl to do those ridiculous moves and all that crap. this is cringy asf. so therefore i will pretend that this part never happened. please do NOT include this in your rewrite. it makes my heart hurt.

Lovely story so far.

You could maybe do a bonus chapter of a Laureen POV from when she found the ultrasound?
- alanah2314

again? your going to extreme symptoms again ?! shes what a whole week pregnant and you have her passing out? normal people don't pass out. people who pass out are people who cant deal with shit like their mind breaks down cause their sissies and cant handle shit...seriously...ive never seen anyone pass out in my life..except from drugs and alcohol lol...but ive read about it seen it in movies and its always some idoit that's like overwhelmed LOL soo stupid

oh god shes crying again ...you just seem brighter...oh I mean I want to spoil the story...I mean ya know cause its not completely transparent already..
WTF

you've got to be fucking kidding ...you gonna give bella all the bullshit symptoms of pregnancy aren't you...shes crying for nofucking reason...I failed...I failed...im so sorry...im so sorry...jesus shut the fuck up! most women don't get pregnant that fast...shut your damncock hole!

I never once...not once broke down crying like a little bitch, no weird cravings, no constipation, I puked once from the taste ofsomething...once...there was another time I may have gagged from smell but that's it...I never bitch and whined about my weight...not once.. my pregnancy was easy peasy...not all women are total messes when their pregnant and itd be nice to read about one that doesn't go all crazy

wow he wasn't there when she woke up so she went 0-emo drama queen in no time
crying and then passing out? who does that weird shit? im so embarrassed for her
Edward needs a real woman not this insecure mousy no curves ugly clingy girl

I would have liked to have found out more on the relationship between Jacob and Lauren. If Lauren was Jacob's imprint how is it going to affect the so called relationship she has with Bella. I would have liked more on baby Hunter, the Wedding, Charlie sand the transformation.

I am actually shocked at his reaction. Not the first one, the aftermath. He was so distraught after seeing the vision, I have a hard time believing that he would recover so quickly. Also I don't think he would be letting her out of his sight to go shopping with Alice, and I don't think he would care so much about the dance with regards to what he just saw in Alice's head. I also don't think he would have given in to Bella and told her so easily. (Just my opinion) So he is acting OOC, but for different reasons than you said. As far as his reaction to the vision that you wrote, I think you got it SPOT ON! That is how he should have reacted to that vision. Story is great so far. I'm enjoying it thoroughly.

love it what more!

Hi! I read the seduction of edward and it's great. The sequel is amazing. :)

Wow you cut that close with killing Victoria;) Really great story. Thank you for sharing your work.

That's funny Edward dancing to the Casper Slide 2. KEEP WRITING!

i love the story i was just wondering are edward's eyes green, brown, or topaz? XD

awesome