Reviews for Naruto Deserted Island
Santeegan chapter 1 . 6/25
I try not to be too critical about grammar, ESPECIALLY in stories that are trying to be unique. we have seen far too many canon re writes that anything new gets special treatment from me.

But this is getting painful as hell.
Spectra Phantom 23 chapter 1 . 6/22
Bro this story is great! The only beef I have with it is the Jiriaya sort of bashing it irks me greatly but otherwise I would read this story day and night
Dragonknight42 chapter 19 . 5/27
I love these stories but theres an easy way out just reverse summon to mount myoboku with Hana, Tsume and dogs and then just head to konoha
ItsEizanAgain chapter 5 . 5/23
I read this when I was 11 and that was the beginning point where I learnt all the fanfiction terms, becoming more interested to various animes and started writing myself. I never regret it. Fanfiction made a small but meaningful part of who I am, and it was this story that started it. I came back to read nostalgia but, damn, it's been almost 5 years and I didnt even knew the passing. Rest in peace Salvador R Balleza. You left this world a fragment of you that I will never forget
Yushin1831 chapter 1 . 4/8
I dont understand the inconsistencies that appear so frequent, has refined shadow clone, but doesnt use it when he needed to build a fire and fix their shelter, so ad to not leave Hinata alone, but also use kunai to 'climb?' coconut trees? and by going with what Ive read it just goes to show how Naruto was only 'taught' Jiraya's pervertedness, I mean he trained for 3 years while travelling but cant survive for shit? and whats this fresh fish, motherfucker its fresh since it just came ALIVE from the goddamm river that he just 'fished'
Pedro Henrique2 chapter 3 . 2/9
YOUR beef AND pork is still linda RAW só HAVE HERE some flames w
Guest chapter 30 . 12/22/2019
samui, koyuki, fuka, matsuri, tsunami, haku (who im prety sure and always will be to me at least a female), tayuya, kurotsuchi, kaguya, fu, konan, kin, karin, mikoto, kushina, shiho, ni, ameyuri, pakura, rin, mabui, karui, hotaru, ryuzetsu, sara
Guest chapter 30 . 11/12/2019
Need to remind every reader that Freedom Guard passed away. So enough with those who are Grammer Nazis.
thormanator chapter 11 . 10/19/2019
I like the chapter, but please work on your continuity. You said that they were nude when kissing him but then 4 paragraphs later, you had the girls disrobe each other. It makes the level of quality go down. Also, it's really a fantasy that they always go off at the exact same time. It's usually that one goes off and it pushed the partner over the edge to their orgasm. It also reads better than saying they went off at the same time.
thormanator chapter 1 . 10/17/2019
I think you need to edit this a little. Elope does not mean to have sex. It means to run away and get married in secret. So unless you are saying that they are married, this is wrong. Also, you need to remember that Naruto does not have this kind of relationship with the Fox at this point. But that could slide for a fanfiction. The thing I found really annoying was Kurama telling Naruto how to start a fire and simple survival stuff like that. Naruto should know basic survival skills as a ninja.

You were also making it a little too easy with them scrounging for food. You said they could find berries, fish and a boar, prepare and cook it all all before breakfast. Unless he used clones (which you hardly used in this story) they couldn't have done all that before breakfast.

You also said they had boar for breakfast, then went and hunted for one for the next meal because they found some on the island which when you said it made it sound like the just discovered them after they just ate one. Also, a boar would last more than one meal so they wouldn't need another one so soon.

Please try to be more consistent with your storyline and be a bit more realistic. Naruto doesn't know what loge actually feels like and people don't just have sex right after a kiss and confessing feelings. You could have made this a much better story with drawing out the romance on the island.

Other "realistic" failure was the fact that you had the search party find then the very next morning. Sailing is a slow way to travel. And traveling to the location of the port would have taken a couple of days to get to.
Banshee-024 chapter 10 . 9/25/2019
go go Shizune!
Guest chapter 2 . 9/13/2019
I thought the first chapter was after the fight w Pain but now this is long before that when Orochimaru is still alive.
Banshee-024 chapter 2 . 8/27/2019
nice. *thumbs up
AnimeFan0001 chapter 3 . 8/14/2019
At the beginning of the lemon scene, it mentions “...the light of the moon…”, but then when they’re in the spring, somehow it’s “mid-afternoon...and the sun had barely set…”. This is quite confusing, as the time of day is inconsistent, and thus distracts from the story. I feel that this scene was rushed, rather than written with care.
thunderofdeath97 chapter 30 . 7/26/2019
wheres the sequel?
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