Boy its a shame such a nice author like you doesn't writes fics anymore:(

Great fic. Only complaint is the lack of Cherry. C'mon, even with the much more realistic approach, I was expecting Cherry to be inside the envelope, perhaps attracted by a stray crumb! That way he could've presided over the wedding.. oh, well!

We all know about what the fanfic's all about but what i don't know that Lum isn't the same without her way of speaking and that's the truth.

I really enjoyed this! Perfect thing to read right after finishing the manga. Thank you for all of your hard work! Great story!

I just finished reading the end of this fic and I gotta say, I'm pleased. Not a bad fanfic, really. I liked the setup and the execution this fic has, going strong from start to end. Loved it.

I do, however, need to point out a problem I had: the characters in this seemed too boring. They didn't seem to do anything different and Ataru especially seemed a bit OOC at times, mainly the interactions he had with Lum.

Even still, it's a brilliant story through and through.

excelente fanfic

Deberias hacer un crossover de urusei yatsura ranma 1/2 inuyasha y kyoukai no rinne

Delightful story of a beloved old classic. It's outstanding the way you used the yellow ribbon as the tool to guide them into a loving relationship.

Still, I missed in this story Lums special way of speaking. Lum isn't Lum without her "DaCha (tcha)" accent. Thank you for the long hours you have dedicated into the creation of this entertaining tale.

i've read this soo many times but i cant stop its to

You know, I've just gotten into the Urusei Yatsura franchise, and I've loved every bit of it so far. The Ataru/Lum pairing is especially wonderful to me; I think it's one of the cutest anime relationships I've seen yet. So, when I stumbled upon this story, naturally, I ate up every last detail. LOL

I love the way you portrayed their relationship here. Yes, it was more serious and mature than the show/manga had given us, but I thought the gradual manner in which the relationship began turning this way was so natural and real. You managed to develop each character beyond the boundaries they'd had in the series, yet kept true to them at the same time (especially Ataru), and that's amazing.

I also loved the fact that you were able to bring in the intergalactic aspect into the story so seamlessly. Any questions the reader may have had throughout the story were explained for the most part by one of the characters. It just goes to show how much thought and effort you put into this story; a more amateur writer would have just left the main plot as is and left any possible inconsistencies unanswered. The fact that you don't do this is a testament to your writing abilities, and it feels that much more well-written. Loved the mini-Slayers crossover in Chapter 16, BTW. P

Finally, the wedding. It could honestly not have been done any better, and I had a big stupid smile plastered on my face throughout that entire chapter. LOL And you even threw in a little Ryuunosuke/Benten femslash in there too, which I thought was pretty funny (even though I'm personally more of a Ryuunosuke/Nagisa fan myself XD).

I read in your little bio page that you originally intended this story to be about 6 chapters; now, I could be wrong, but that seems to imply that you more or less added the rest of all of this stuff as more of an afterthought. If so, then it doesn't seem that way at all. It was so well-organized, and any twists that happened along the way were believable and none of them seemed like they were coming out of left field at all.

Okay, time to wrap this review up before I start rambling even further. LOL I'm not sure if you'll ever read this review, but I honestly thought this was a great piece of work. It really should receive more reviews, but seeing as how this is such an underappreciated franchise nowadays, I guess you should live with what you've got, huh? XP But seriously, I loved this story, and this is going into my Favorites right away! Great, great job! DDD

going to bed.

[Missing closing quote marks]

Chapter 2

Yet here she was again, giving him her complete trust for the second time that day

[Or manipulating him, and overtly threatening him too]

their fingers."

[Extraneous closing quote marks]

Chapter 3

You can still use all your powers

[Wasn’t it mentioned that it inhibited her electricity (which is one of her powers) when it’s tied to her hair in general?]

hold an interrogations

[interrogation (singular)]

Chapter 5

After such a long time of life staying the same old routine, it was frightening to experience sudden upheavals

[I don’t think he can claim, after this long, to cling to the “old routine”. Maybe “what happened to the way things were”, but even then he’d likely realize that it’s impossible to go back that far]

dreams of being lord of a harem

[I doubt those fantasies lasted up to a week prior to this – maybe a month or few after Lum’s arrival, but almost all the way to now? I’m doubtful]

raising his head irritably."

[Superfluous quote mark]

Chapter 6

Their teacher seethed for a moment as the sound reached him, but then just started talking a bit louder, determined to ignore the slumbering pest

[Things are taking a sudden change – without necessarily having any logical reason. Yes, most know he was beaten, but if Onsen tends to snap at him to at least pay attention normally, why’s he taking it so easy on him? It looks like literally everything is going Ataru’s way, and it seems to ring hollow. Letting him off easy is different than ignoring him when he’s clearly and loudly doing something wrong, and incidents like this highlight the “curiously, everything’s going too well”. Unless you’re setting up a HUGE negative to balance, it looks a little…well…hollow]

think Ataru is still made

[mad]

at least one good thing seems to have come out of all this, Ataru seems to have gotten a lot closer to Lum while they were gone

[Because apparently every character in the story now wants to see them develop their relationship, regardless of whether the characters should even care…]

"What's done is done," Ataru told them with a glare

[Seems rather contrary to a character with a ton of growing up to do. Yes, he’d do a lot of developing with the unusual long-term beating and injury and therefore the requisite healing time that left him with nothing to do but brood, but it’s far and away more than a matter of hours (which is what he had) should grant. Lum isn’t the only person he’s petty with, it’s not a universal quality but it’s something that’s more often than not]

Chapter 7

this time of night?

[Missing closing quote marks]

stay long either time."

[“either” tends to refer to “of two”, not “three”]

"You don't think it'll break down while we're in space?"

"Probably not," Ten reassured him.

[Well, now it has to happen…]

I had to have the Dimension

[“I]

then busted the glass in with his fist

[Would Ataru be able to break glass designed to be resistant to oni?]

After about 20 minutes of flat out running

[Without heavy breathing or nearly dropping anyone, AND carrying Jariten (who can fly himself and wouldn’t need the help?]

Lum-chan!" he cried, grasping at her shoulder

[A bit late for realizing she’s injured. There’s also pretty much no description of injury, and the crash even looked fairly light. The fact that Ataru is apparently unscathed further weakens the tension of the scene]

or 8 km away

[Why isn’t kilometer spelled out, how it would be if it was said, as it likely would be?]

Chapter 8

After all that running earlier he was exhausted

[No sign of it DURING HALF AN HOUR of running, which only trained marathonists would be able to do, and even then not holding a person. If you wanted to portray some of the psychological/emotional need to protect Lum even from faceless forces of nature, this would have been the perfect place]

Oniboshi doesn't have a radar grid

[Even Mongolia has radar coverage, and Bengal had interlocking watch systems typically taking advantage of native patrols and pedestrian news to keep tabs. If that’s what pre-radio societies can do, I doubt that an interstellar power colonizing an important world wouldn’t have detected a crashing ship, even if it only plotted a few hundred-kilometer landing zone. At best, the ship is a friendly tourist with bad electronics, at worst it could be a hostile power’s special forces deploying bioweaponry against an incomplete infrastructure, or even unaligned raiders harassing contract-protected merchants. All of those would necessitate at least some form of orbital watch that would notice non-stealthed ships]

He pressed it and a small sink revealed itself

[This doesn’t really describe anything. Does a small steel bowl-shaped device flow out from the wall ala Vorlon organic technology? Does a hatch flip open and a deep plastic sink slide out? Does a ceramic appliance teleport in ala Star Trek?]

Ataru protectively. "

[Superfluous quote marks]

Chapter 9

than Oniboshi.

[Missing closing quote marks]

how come…so many of your friends are so proficient at Japanese?

[“I am actually speaking Rigelian. By an astonishing coincidence, both of our languages are exactly the same”]

The port alone was gigantic, stretching below them as they descended. Looking out across the city, towering skyscrapers sprouted up in dense clusters every direction he looked. It truly was a massive metropolis, utterly dwarfing anything on Earth

[Vague. If you want your audience engaged instead of made distant, show instead of distant telling]

there were hundreds, if not thousands

[Oh, so it’s like Tokyo…lite]

seemed to be represented in perfect three-dimensional detail.

[Telling instead of showing]

flux capacities really didn't mean anything to the average Earthling.

[They’re for time travelers, but only on DeLorean models]

exclusively Oni restaurant be?

Stopping before a nearby restaurant

[Repetition of ‘restaurant]

When Lum first decided to live with you, I was against it

[This is a lot of convenient “We all didn’t like you before, but mysteriously decided to go along with the plot to get to this point where you and Lum get everything you wanted. Even her crashing her ship was merely a couple pages setback to her getting a better replacement]

Chapter 10

This one has much higher specs than that one did, so even the roughest weather and such shouldn't even bother it

[Former segment doesn’t describe it, latter segment does]

Both the Moroboshis and Lum's parents fully approve of their children's living arrangements

[And with both being past the age of consent in Japanese law, there’s really nothing past parental approval to try to track legally speaking]

We haven't missed that much class."

[Depending on the district, all the school has to do is call or email the parents with a “recommendation of an extended academic schedule” and as long as they don’t protest that can be exactly what happens. This rarely occurs due to the work load most staff has, but it’s there. However, this section reveals a more serious concern: cramming has serious limitations despite its fame, if Ataru was even nearly as behind as canon implied whether or not it was for lack of trying, then in a matter of weeks he’s simply NOT going to catch up. When you’re weeks behind, especially in a subject you DON’T excel naturally in, then it can take months to advance. That’s why so many nations have such faulty handling of learning disabilities.

This makes it look like yet another scene where “everything goes Ataru’s way”. There’s even speculation on what he’s going to do in the future, but what about Lum? Is she going to be content sitting at home playing the patient wife for the rest of her life? Or even the immediate future?]

Darling, you

[Missing opening quote marks]

Chapter 11

either sleep or to cram."

[Superfluous “to”]

And you aren't going to forget

[Actually, he will. Cramming operates on a principle similar to computer interstitial memory between active memory (roughly corresponding to human short-term) and hard drive (engrained or long-term memory), and beyond the item limit that memory can hold, as time passes without the person cycling through those items (refreshing them in short and ingraining them in long) those items fade without ever being written into long-term memory]

A few very interesting details, but I'm afraid that the broad strokes and narrative events make it look like a "feel-good fix fic", which is not a good thing for really exploring the characters or relationships. I see more "Ataru/Lum gets what they want" than "a character is forced to actually think about who they are, what they want, why, and what does this do to the people around them" which is what builds real relationships. The fact that implications are made that many of these decisions have been developing (or festering) for a long time are good and very effective, but they always seem to be weakened by blatant "this happened just this week".

This is a really good fanfiction. I've always wanted to see Lum and Ataru with this kind of relationship.

I have just finished reading this and I must say that this is one of the best works I've read in the site if not the best. It covered every genre that I knew and it worked well with the theme of the anime/manga. I loved every Ataru/Lum scene and by every chapter that they have their moments, there was a wonderful progression between the two of them. The war and RPG parts were unexpected but it gave more color to the story and made it even better. I also am amazed how you write well, sensing no grammatical errors or if there are, only minor ones. I also love the fact that the characters were well-rounded, even though some of them (like Ataru) acted a little OOC at first but ended up quite well, making them more interesting than they already are. I loved what you did with Oyuki and made me feel that she also has human qualities and can be quite vulnerable at times. I'm going to read the sequel to this one and let you know what I think. Keep up the good job and I hope you write more under this category. I hope people do write more Urusei Yatsura stuff since this is already classic, don't you think? Anyway, whatever your endeavors are as of late, good luck and take care! :)

This story is consider a truly classic way to continue Urusei Yatsura in a great way. I like the plots goes. I would give this story, 5 stars which truly deserve a true ending.

This was excellent, the first and best UY story I've read so far. You seemed to keep everyone in character, and it caught my attention. I might read the next chapter.

Dude, that was a great story, but you really ended it THERE? I get that its a nice lovey dovey ending, but you left so much that needed to be wrapped up. What happened with the war? Why was earth so important? why couldn't inaba have just taken shinobu and her friends with him to onibashi and gotten them to safety? All good questions, but left unanswered.