Very sad but at least they'd be together- it's very hard not to cry through it. Great job, Mimozka.

What a sad, beautiful little one shot! I was almost crying as I read it! Not many people seem to consider the consequences for everyone involved if Norrington and the Governor hadn't decided to let Will's attempt to free Jack slide.

Keep writing!

And MY Hat Enterprises

You've received a lot of comments about the Romeo and Juliet side of this piece, I see. Was that on your mind when you were writing?

I loved your twist on the ending scene of this movie, keeping Will's line "I love you." It seems so in character for him. I also enjoyed this piece because the tension never lets go-it drives forward until the very end. It is a very strong presence throughout this piece.

Also, Elizabeth stabbing her own heart out? Never saw that one coming! You added a lot more significance to the standard suicide with this undermining of the expected for this universe.

The more I read of yours the more I admire your writing ability and your courage! It takes a lot of determination to write a piece like this when it is not your strongest language, and especially for your age. I am mighty impressed with you!

There were several places where word usage or tense got a little hazy:

In the first line, it should be had been a day...had failed (past tense)

-the one of Jack Sparrow might sound better as 'that of Jack Sparrow'

although she was engaged-try 'because she was engaged'

to free Will have failed-had failed (past tense)

involved-this word is used as if it meant the same thing as said. Try said or another variation of it.

There were three stylistic issues as well:

What happened to Norrington? You mention him twice, but we don't see his reaction to Will and Elizabeth's kiss. If you were going for a traditional Shakespeare feeling with this piece, I would include Norrington just a little bit more, maybe at the end?

Have you got any-if you're using words like beloved, and have a plot and tone this dramatic, my suggestion would be to romanticize the dialogue as much as possible. 'Do you have any last requests' is the typical phrase used in almost all films of this nature.

My personal preference would also be to see more abruptness and more detail in the hanging. Let us hear their necks break (we are standing so close, and this is how almost all hanging victims die), and see their bodies jerk when they hit the end of the rope. This is a VERY dramatic scene, the crux of the piece, so don't be afraid to prolong this moment!

Also, how likely is it that she could just grab a random sword? Let us see this struggle. Swords are also rather long, and it would be difficult to stab yourself in the chest with one in the manner you describe. It's usually more of a falling onto the point of the blade. Or, change sword to a knife or dagger, or even a bayonet tip, if you are wanting to keep the traditional plunging stab (canonized in Shakespeare) for the ending. It does make it more dramatic!

I loved this story! I can't wait to read more from you!

Lasgalendil

Hey...I wanna point out something...you said "and I’m not willing to live without her". Last time I checked, Will was a guy. Maybe I was mistaken. Decent job, though.

pretty good if a bit short :)

You don't mind if I add a bit of crit do you?

I'm not sure if Will would have said Don't cry my love, cause POTC has quite modern language thrown into it.

Apart from that its good! I enjoyed it.

This is very touching and definitely beautiful, very Romeo and Juliet type. I think it's cool. Good Job

*cries* that's so sad... *sniffles* very well writen

that was so dramatic, but so cute in a freaky kinda way

This is definitely a 'Romeo and Juliet' twist: if they can't be together in life, then they can be together in death.