i love this fanfic! u so rock! check out my bff's stories. her name is:

Edwardluvr595

thnx! ps u rock!

yo, i absolutely loovveed thiss

it was great :)

aww it was really sweet!

not bad. it made me go aw in the end :)

I like it! good job

Couple things:

"His eye sight, multiple times better than any human’s(,) could make out the fine details in the room as if it was s(d)ay and not in the middle of the night..." You might need to add that second comma and change the "s" to "d".

Thoughts might want '...' instead of "...". Simply so we readers can tell the difference.

"...Edward’s mind began to go hazy and in he inhaled deeply besides the swoop of her neck..." What does the "in" do? I think there's somthing wrong there and "besides" should be "beside".

"...hoping that the still (half sleep) girl would take it as truth.." Maybe "half asleep" or "half-sleeping" instead; either or.

Other than those few things, it was really good. You got into Edward's head pretty well, and I thought the idea of her waking up while he was there was creative. I haven't seen that happen before!

Great job!

Eve

wow... this was actually pretty good. I notice that its really hard to write in edward's point of view, but you captured most of his thoughtfulness without coming off as stilted or slow. a little more showing, and not jut telling weould've improved it though. just somehting t think about for your next fic.

That was so cute! Great job!

Musically Inclined

lol, bella thinks everything is a dream...dute and different