I seriously LOVE your writing style. LOVE. IT. SO. MUCH. Please keep writing more!
I may sound odd to some people, but I love angsty stories. Love them. A story filled with angst, tad bit of fluff, and a dash of comedy is seriously the best combination ever.

Loved it!

Keep it up,

-Star Dancer

Oh, that was brilliant :) I myself don't see Matt that submissive or being surprised when dieing, but still - I LIKED YOU STORY VERY MUCH! :)

this was amazing... bittersweet but still amazing... especially the last part... good job! _

holy shit, this was amazing!

Any good?

Hell, yeah.

Beautifully written. The language and the descriptions are both so well written. The relationship between Mello and Matt is very real, very realistic while still managing to show their closeness. Sad, sweet, lovely. Very good job.

THAT WAS AMAZING! Honestly, this story just spoke to my heart. I love it, keep up the good work!

Amazing.

made me cry ]

i adore this~

This is simply beautiful. Good luck on the contest!

I don't have much to say except this: The title was appropriate, not only because of the hold they had on each other, but because of the way my breath caught in my throat as I read. Lovely. Just lovely.

I have to say, I had teared up by the end of it. It was bittersweet (and it was probably only bittersweet and not miserably depressing because of that last part you put in, where Mello says he loves him too.) I like that you followed canon, though I am no happier about Mello and Matt dying now than I was then. (I first saw them die in the anime, and I didn't know that it was going to happen - I actually screamed a little when they shot Matt. Pathetic? Maybe. My best friend and I then spent the rest of the night eating chocolate and playing video games in their memory.)

Ahem, right, anyways. I did like the parallelisms, I liked the way to mood of the story subtley changed and yet maintained the same kind of desperation through the whole thing. (I also liked the title. And the fact that it's always Matt that's saying "I love you" and always Mello who feels it the most. Actually, I liked everything.)

ANY GOOD?

*flails, falls over and rolls on the floor*

I agree that it's a bit confusing whether the last part is a flashback or a description of some kind of afterlife that they're now in. It's ambiguous, and I think it still works that way. The reader can draw their own conclusion.

This is the kind of fic that makes me resolve to stay a fangirl forever. I particularly liked your description of Mello's last few moments. His death is touched on very briefly in the anime/manga, but your vision keeps the dignity of the scene while being both intense and somehow very real. The relationship between Mello and Matt is engaging for the reader even as the characters don't feel they are getting anywhere. There seems to be no final destination for them, but your ending wrapped it up nicely. On a purely fannish level, the X-rated bits were highly satisfying!

I'll stop the pretentious crap now. To sum up: Bloody good fic.

I'll stop the

I read this on live journal already and I'm so glad you posted it here so it could reach a larger audience because this fic is absolutely beautiful. I read it again and it was just as touching the second time around. It was definitely lots of good and one of my fave MattxMello one shots, ever. :)

Don't be so modest, it's very good! :P

Love the language, structure, and style of this, and all those metaphors and images! (I myself am far too lazy to use so many) I like the small repetitions as well, like recurring colors.. and couches. So many couches. XD

Then there's the little moments where a metaphor is used for one char and then applied to the other in the next little scene, such as Matt's "loose clothes blown so they were hugging his bones like a second skin" compared to Mello's "tight fabric stretched so that it hugged sinew like a second skin." That example in itself is quite odd, since the compared sets of clothing are actually opposites, loose and tight, but somehow it works..

Or am I just... reading way too much into this? o.0;

Their relationship feels very real and raw. Even Mello's little bit in the end is painful - it's a far cry from lovey-dovey, and it tears at the heartstrings despite whatever slight inklings of hope there are.

Stories like this are the reason I love them together, and why I take so much care and time when I write them myself. So, kudos on doing justice to this wonderfully tragic pair. :)

ugh, you're so good. i loved this.