I love the title and subheadings in this fic. And your poetic, semi-stream-of-consciousness narration is lovely. At times your prose is so lyrical it's not even prose-it's music. I love it.

However, I don't think the bits in first person worked with the rest of the piece. While reading, it's like listening to music in my head until I get to the first-person (monologues?) and then it's like a harsh, dissonant sound temporarily halts the song. I think it's because most of the story has a rather deep, somber mood, with Gene and Finny's thoughts only subtly hinted at. Stating them directly kind of took away from the obscurity that had shrouded the story in its shimmering cloud; suddenly the reader is too close to the characters, and it feels invasive. Not to mention the tone of the first-person sometimes seems cliche or immature.

That aside, though, this is a lovely and thoughtful fic. I enjoyed reading it.

im favoriting this, because it was just slightly heart breaking.

Nice story...very sad, though. Keep them coming, please?

Congratulations, you've just won yourself an INSTA-FAV. That was really, really beautiful. Umm-I certainly did not almost cry. No, no...