I liked it:) The only thing is I would have liked a little of Holly's reaction and response. Other than that, well done.

firstly, like i commented on your story 'miscalculation', the bold is unnecessary and makes things hard to read.

so are the HUGE author's notes. you can get rid of the spoilers because anyone reading an artemis fowl fanfiction should have read the actual books; the synopsis because that's what a summary is for; the rating because everyone can already see the rating and no one looks at it anyway and the pairing because you put it in the summary (if there is a pairing).

this should have a 'have' in between 'to' and 'found':

"They were fortunate to found some Indian"

this line:

"they were retrieving some of the fairy technology from Jon Spiro in which Opal had sold to him."

should be:

"from Jon Spiro which Opal had sold to him"

"practically wade hip high (for Holly they were chest high) water."

do you mean "practically wade through"?

“About as long as it takes you tow to remove your clothing.”

minor mistake: 'tow' should be 'two'

“D’Arvait!” it's D'Arvit, i believe.

"and it clung onto her body like it would have been." what?

"Holly had kissed him Artemis back peddled…" you're missing a full stop after 'him'. there's really no excuse for things copied directly out of the book...

oh, and you don't need to put the references in. most people can find things easily enough.

Great story; I love the details.

However, there is a slight inconsistancy: you say that Artemis has never kissed anyone except Holly besides his own family, and later you say that he has kissed Minerva. And I don't think he kisses Minerva in the books, but if you made up that incident I understand.

I like how you wove Colfer's words with your own. Keep it up.

3 words: I LOVE IT!

BYENESS!

i love it!i love it!i love it! i love you! ]

Wow. Very well written, it could be an excerpt from the non existant next book. I like it!

AWW!

that's hilarious, to kiss or not to kiss...

I think he would go mad.

XD

Write more HollyXArty.

It's awesome!

I love this pairing.

Thanxs!

~Ai-chan

this is really nice! good job

interesting... make it a oneshot, or else it won't be as good...

interesting- but good af2/hs story, cute

I really love the song- so sweet.

But I thought the fic was overall too sparse. It seems like you spent the whole time recapping TTP and too little on your own take, your own character development. Take it one step further and you'll have something really beautiful.

Nice job.

Lily

O like an aftermath of TTP/ *sigh* Love the lyrics of the song.

Well done. Brilliant. I haven't seen many Arty/Holly's that take place after TTP. I wrote one myself, if you'd like to read it.

Again, well done.

Yours,

AirDragon717

aw, so cute! :):):):)

are you gonna continue this? please do, i love it! update soon.