great story!

i could really feel his desperation.

he is a good man!

thanks for sharing

Oh, gods this is just shattering. I was bawling by somewhere around the fifth or sixth paragraph. I had a hell of a time finishing it 'cause I cried all the way through the rest of it.

What makes it all the more difficult is that while I can see Colby here (having been here myself), I think that on the show it is really Don who is in this headspace. When he told his former therapist that if he was dying he didn't know what he'd be reaching for I literally started crying like a baby. Over the last three seasons we've seen Charlie on an up arc, finally hitting his stride and really coming into his own, but at the same time we've been watching Don slowly crumble.

I'm really scared for both of them - Don and Colby too. This piece just perfectly captured a state of mind I think either (or both) of them could be in and the insight is excruciating. What really got me was the beautiful way you captured the detached part of Colby that is just standing back and watching the slow burn with morbid fascination.

This is so dark and so beautifully well written. Poor Colby - already well into the fourth degree burn where not even such intense agony can really be felt any more, and the numbness makes you realize that you can't really say which is worse - the pain or the inability to feel it any longer.

good. Hoping for more chapters

Very interesting. Believable and understandable thought processes and yes, not every problem can be solved by the judicious application of overwhelming firepower.

It does explain why he took that step and slept with the woman. I know he is no monk but that what happened was a surprise, he would know better than that. It certainly didn't seem to bother him afterwards at her house, it was only when he fessed up to David that there seemed to be any form of even slight remorse.

This could go further if you would like, or not. Up to you. Would be interesting though to see something happen a little further down the track that relates to someone on the team maybe getting hurt, or Colby in a deep situation from which he may not escape as per his thoughts here. How would he react then? Would he give more serious thought to eating his own gun or would it perhaps kick him out of his spiral and return him to the right path?

very good!