The only thing that turned me off for this fic and the original is how the authors make the hyuugas too narrow minded and bastards

I feel like this is just dragging out, hope it picks up the pace

I know it is late in the game. You are already 12 chapters in but, felt that I should remind you of what Sakura overheard Naruto and Lee discussing just before the first exam. Her resentment of Naruto here, dose not quite mesh with the results of that seen. At least for me.

OK. My opinion is that Jirayia is not a hermit, nor is he a monk. He is a sannin. And a sennin. So, ero sennin is good. Ero sannin also works. Ero hermit does not. Nor does ero monk, pervy hermit or pervy monk. Lastly. Too many dots prohibits the flow of the language. A distinct difference between you and starkan is your excessive usage of dots, cutting down sentences, stoppsignal and destroying the flow of the language. The different used of Jirayia name I send to starkan, because she didn’t do it justiser either.

wasn't the entire point of not wearing orange being not to have a big fucking target on his chest saying "HERE I AM!"?

I'm sorry you're going through this hell. I love your work with this story and I do re-read it all the time because it is so good. Don't give up and get things straightened out. Good luck!

Sorry to hear about all that crap youve been dealing with, dont worry at all about having to take time getting back into writing. Ive always enjoyed reading your stories and theyre worth the wait.

Damn man so sorry to hear about ur father my condolences. And ur wife is a bitch ul be better off without her draging u down. Best of luck and my prayers are with ur family.

Sorry to hear that, take your time, we can wait.

That cock juggling Thunder c*** low down dirty backstabbing b****. Forgive me for this language but I can't stand females like that I pray you find someone who will treat you better than she could. God Bless you brother

Wow, that's horrible. Im super sorry to hear that. I cant offer much, but i can be a listening ear if you just need to share stuff with someone. I prayed for you and will do so again if it comes to mind. Whatever happans, you still awesome. Hope you get back on your feet soon, mentally, physically, or emotionally. I believe you will be fine. Dont let it make you bitter, instead grow better for it. Thats how you win. Love ya, a random reader.

If there i something i may be able to help with, just send me a message. Ill see what i can do with what I have available.

team 8 was legit one of my fav storys i am going to re read that and then come back woot

The main problem with the original one was how Hinata-centric and Hyuga-centric it was. The hyugas arent as important as fics like to make them out to be.

i like that everybody is training while on their way to suna.

is the original story still up? like how naruto is getting neji to start being a decent cousin and hopefully hinata is helped with her problems.