Okay yeah no. I can’t. Kudos for writing a fic that’s different from the rest in that Orihime goes dark, but I just can’t keep reading. The grammar, punctuation, and paragraph structure is killing me. Maybe try to get a beta to read through this? It has mondo potential, just needs a few nudges to get there. Good luck either way!

Up until this point I was following along nicely. This chapter just...dipped down. All of a sudden you’ve got multiple people speaking in one paragraph, misuse of punctuation, and it just feels like a different writing style. I’m gonna keep reading just to see if it goes back to the quality of the previous chapters, but the sudden downshift threw me off :/

bittersweet end

Interesting. One of the few things that I've read that can actually be described as hauntingly beautiful. Ah, this is getting Favorited. I really do love what you've done with everything.

damn.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

This is a fantastic story I love this chapter in particular because I love seeing a different interpretation on Nel and Nnoitra's relationship. I could only think of whilst reading this: Those two are Kismesis. It is a wonderfully horrifying story so far.

Aww! I loved this story! Great work! I had hoped that Orihime would destroy them all, but their guilt and bitter emotions did the work for her! Wonderful! and this alternate ending, i loved it too. great work!

While I do like your original ending better, this was a nice add on. Very good, sweet and almost bitter at the same time. Great job- as was expected.

This was nothing short of horrific, and leaves a coppery, bitter taste on the back of my tongue. Just thinking about this story makes my stomach churn unpleasantly; riling against my mind in an attempt to convince me that the whole idea of this is nothing but pure sickness. However, I cannot choose to allow myself to believe that lie. This was wonderfully fascinating, and nothing short of beautiful. One of the most hauntingly lovely things I have ever read. And it's sick, too, and sort of ugly, but I think that the ugly and twisted things are the peaces of art that attach closest to one's soul. This was brilliant, and I just wanted you to know that I think that of it. Thank you, for this, for this bitter smile and the warm blood. Thank you- for the story that is my mind, and the heart I wish I had.

God, that's beautiful. I think I need to take a second to just sit here and play that last bit over and over in my mind, just to try and grasp how lovely that was...

I LOVE a good "break the heroine" kind of story; Im a twisted person, I know. You portray the psychological aspect very well, cant wait to read more! :D

I liked this ending, but I honestly think I liked the other one better. Does he know that Osen is Orihime, and that's why he's relieved that she doesn't recognize him? You did a great job with this story, and I look forward to reading more of your work!

~Shy-chan :3

Earlier in the story, you mentioned that if Orihime died in Hueco Mundo, she would just become a spirit, and continue to exist. Why didn't her spirit appear when Ulquiorra killed her? Your subject-verb tenses change a bit here and there, from past tense to present tense and back again, but other than that, this has been a grand story so far, and I look forward to reading the last chapter! (:

~Shy-chan :3

That was a bit gory and twisted for my tastes, but this IS a horror story. Very well written, and plenty of imagery in this chapter. Good job, and I can't wait to read the next chapter!

~Shy-chan :3