Do these characters get all their excercise by jumping to conclusions? Common theme. Somewhat overused.

Jumped in a bit too fast. Take some time to build up anticipation, and show emotional evolution.

What is the sequel called?

bull shit

My head hurts from reading that chapter. You go from Draco's p.o.v to Harry's p.o.v in first person wirhout breaks or indications as to a change of p.o.v.

NOT COOL...AND PEOPLE SHOULDE PUT THE TITTLE OF THERE SEQUALS!

Please write a sequel. I need to know what happens next

I love it when Draco gets nosy! He is like a dog with a bone, seriously. Sweet.

You said they’re eighteen, right? Just so you know, Harry doesn’t make Head Auror until he’s twenty-seven, I believe. Yep...just checked...Harry became an Auror in 2007.

This is clearly AU, but I’m having trouble with how very much both Draco and Harry are OoC. Maybe too much trouble with it. *sigh*

Whoa! That’s a lot of AU deaths that Harry’s had to deal with. :( He’s a little mental though, don’t you think? I mean, it was pretty much a war, why does he think he’s to blame for people dying. I think he needs to seek out a mental health professional. Lol.

Hmm. This somehow seems disjointed to me...like Draco's thoughts are in first person and the dialogue is not...making it a little difficult to read. I mean, I understand what's going on, but...I guess it just bugs me a bit.

I noticed a few sentences that are missing words...but figure that those are just typos. Sometimes our fingers can't keep up with her brains. :) I find this problem in my own writing. Very annoying!

I believe that, for the most part, the words that JKR created...like Apparated (and other spells)...should always be capitalized. I think. I'm going to have to go check to verify... Yes, they should be capitalized...checked the Lexicon and Harry Potter Wiki (though I should check the books, since they're sitting right next to me...but I'm not going to).

There are minor punctuation issues...a sentence shouldn't end with a comma.

Sheesh! Harry sure is open...telling Draco about what Ginny did to him (and other stuff) is a lot of information to give someone you supposedly don't like. Lol.

Still, interesting story...on to chapter three...

A little short for a first chapter, IMO, but...written relatively well. I'm not a big fan of first person writing, as it gives the reader only a limited view of what's going on. In this chapter it's fine (didn't seem to matter), but I wonder how it'll be as the story progresses. And you need to do something about the very first sentence, which starts on the line with the s...it's sort of annoying (you just need to press enter to get it off there). Good potential here though, so I'm going to continue on to chapter two. :)

It is wonderful though you could do a little better with a few grammar mistakes but it is wonderful

um about chapter 18 didn't Harry go into the lake in The Goblet of Fire? I'm confused.

I hope they get back together, I really do. I don't care if they were enemies in school. Things change, people change. Not everything has to be black and white.