Cute!

Oh, what a sad, heartfelt chapter. I love that opening scene of Agathe seeing all the children off to school. I think it's one of the best show-not-tells of her as a mother so far in this story, how she can keep up with Friedrich's math test, Louisa's violin lesson, Marta needing a scarf, etc., and still get them all out the door on time. She does such a good job of managing the family that of course they'll never be the same without her. :'(

There's such a mix of fantasy and grim reality here - pink snowflakes, mermaids, angels - that creates a sense of make-believe, even as it all revolves around Agathe's death. It's less fluffy than the previous chapters, which I appreciated, although Gretl's dialogue (like Kurt's in Chapter 3) sounds too articulate for her age.

I really liked the opening scene of this story, with Agathe and her daughters painting together. You can see some good similarities between Brigitta and her mother there, in how she notices the colors of the sky and clouds better than her older sisters, just as Agathe knows to put bits of color in unexpected places in her paintings. I also loved the ominous little mention of "eager to learn next summer like her mother promised" and Agathe and Brigitta making other plans for the future. I think Agathe should be dying soon (in fact, I was expecting to happen in this chapter), and after so much fluff, I'm actually looking forward to reading that. Kinda funny that even though she's sick, Brigitta enjoyed it because she got alone time with her parents! I know a few kids of big families who could relate.

P.S. I'm here reviewing you for the review-a-thon at the Caesar's Palace forum! Come drop by sometime, all fandoms welcome :)

What a sweet chapter. Kurt always seemed like such a positive kid in the film, and that shines through here. I really liked the first section, about the kids making desert with their aunt; what a brave soul Aunt Monica is to trying baking with so many kids, and the lines about what desserts the older kids chose and why made me lol - so fitting for each of their personalities! The second section, about the kids hunting for ghosts, was well-written, but it didn't seem to have much to do with the first, and it made this chapter feel kinda random/disjointed. There are some sections in this story, especially near the beginning, where each sentence is its own paragraph/line break, and I found it tiring to read. That technique is best reserved for lines that warrant special emphasis.

You continue to do a good job at creating mini von Trapp kids here. They're all believable younger versions of the children we saw in the film, and now that we have five of them in this story, it was interesting to see them interact together. I have some experience myself with "middle child syndrome," and you write Louisa's case of it very well here, feeling out of place and even wishing she had dark hair like her sisters. I also like the little details, like Brigitta's baby-talk and Liesl already acting like a mother to Kurt.

I did find it hard to get a gauge on Kurt's age here; if I remember right, he should be three, but his dialogue sounds too articulate for a three-year-old - it's pretty much on the same level as Louisa's, even though she's two years older. I think giving him a younger voice (mispronouncing SH as S ("fiss" instead of fish), using me instead of I, or referring to himself in third-person are pretty common for kids that age) would sound more realistic.

"playing tea party with Liesl or being Louisa's make-believe puppy" - Oh, poor Friedrich, but I did lol at this line and Friedrich's predicament, sandwiched between two sisters who both boss him around. (I can believe Louisa being pretty tough, even as a younger sister. I'm curious to read her chapter now.) I loved the final scene of him finally pulling ahead of Liesl, and it was great to see Max here, too!

I caught a few little references to the movie here, like Liesl twirling around so her underwear shows (I could just see her dancing in the gazebo with Rolfe) and "complaining was immature" - apparently Georg is already a strict father, although not to the degree that he would be later.

I love how you really take the time to explore things from Friedrich's perspective here, although I think this chapter did drag in a few places. The scenes of him wanting Georg to untie his laces and sneaking around under the table were cute, but they also felt kinda long and pointless.

Well, this is just too cute for words. You do a great job at capturing both Liesl's maturity (liking the "young lady" title, wanting to be just like her mother) and her romanticism (being so fixated on the kiss in her fairy tale book). I think you also write from a child's perspective very well; the little things like believing her book goes back on the shelf by magic and not understanding what's so funny about their house being too big feel very realistic to a five-year-old's view of the world.

Her adventures sneaking out to feed Rose - apparently she's already experienced at sneaking out, haha - have a very magical, storybook quality that changes to something more realistic when she realizes that Rose is gone and probably doesn't need her anymore. There are typos around some of your dialogue tags, but I'm looking forward to reading more of this.

P.S. Discovered this story via The Dark Is Drowsy forum.

Wait... I thought the children's mother died when gretl was a baby...

Hi there.

Can definitely tell who this is written by, even if it was one of your first fanfictions. :) (Read several of your Twilight stories a couple of years ago, and you have a distinctive writing style which works well for both fandoms.)

Such a great job with writing each of the children as a three - dimensional characters and still making them sound like five - year olds.
LOVE the family references. (Their siblings, their parents, and their extended relatives.) Nice subtle references to Georg/Agathe and even a little Georg/Maria in the end, too.

Louisa, you bad, naughty girl! You shouldn't tease little Kurt!

I love sweet little Brigitta. She's always been my favourite of the younger kids!

I always preferred the younger kids - especially chubby little Kurt and sweet Brigitta. I love this! Kurt's a bit like my brother David used to be.

That was a most amazing story. Despite my love for the film I had never read any fanfictions based on it. I loved how you explored each child's sensitive personality. You handled everything in the most amazing manner and of course, "...cake is not a healthy food to eat"

Loved it!

I love this chapter the most, great work! [:

Aww! Cute! Going, going, gone.