Me again, for the horror project!

I don't think you needed to be explicit that Pai and the other aliens were vampires (or at least vampiresque, since they have heartbeats and seem to reproduce more like humans); it's clear enough from the text. Also, sakuuya's I-Wish-You'd-Said-More-About-This-In-The-Story moment for today is...What's up with Pai's parents? That's such an intriguing line.

The nonlinear order of the segments of this story worked better than it did in "Suffering," I think, primarily because in this case the shifts mirrored the narrator's mental state, AND because you give a little more due to the good part (i.e. the flashback). Pai's emotions, particularly in the last segment, are a little too tell-y for me, but hey, as my normal header for this project says, oldfic is old.

Sad. Impressive, but sad (Not that it is a bad thing, I love sad and dark stuff to be honest). Poor Pai. Is like they say, if you don't control your emotions, they can all be destructive, even love.

I like how in the beginning he can't believe/remember that he is the one who killed her and in the end is so miserable to what he did. Also, the idea of the aliens feeding of themselves is pretty cool and original (and makes sense. I mean, in their planet they lead miserable lives, I wouldn't be surprised if they had to eat their dead for example).

Great work!

Wow, Saba, that's DARK...and kinda kinky, lol. What I like is that it actually sort of makes sense that Cyniclons would drink each other's blood - I never imagined that, but I thought that they might well eat their dead, simply because they can't afford to let that much meat go to waste. I also like how Pai is in denial at the beginning - he's all, 'no, I didn't kill her, I LOVE her.' I'd also say that stylistically this is one of the best things by you that I've read. It's very coherent, very lucid, with some lovely description at the beginning. Only it made me REALLY want to read some fluff. Why are so many of the good PxL authors really angsty?

True

Absolutely beautiful. It's written so delicately, conveying Pai's feelings of love and lust so well. Truly beautiful. I know that writing fanfiction in the first person is difficult, but you've pulled it off so well here.

You may have just made me want to begin reading fanfiction again. It's so difficult for me now because there are so few good writers for Pai and Retasu these days. This is one of the most beautiful pieces I've read in a long time. Delightful.

Five stars.

O.O Even through Pai killed Retasu, I really like it X3 Must be cuz of the Vampire stuff XD Lmao, it's really great Saba-chan .