Hinata hyuga is slut

Great I love it
When will we continue?
Naruto / Yugito / Mei / Kushina (yes alive) / Mikoto / Konan / Tayuya / Ayam and Ichiraku / Samui / femItachi / femKurama / Fuu / femMatatabi / Tsunami / Koyuki / Anko / Hana / Tsume / Yugao / Kuraoï member of the harem of Naruto that he sleeps with and pregnant crazy oh and Kurenai adds to the harem and ditto for other women fucks naruto and becomes pregnant and the one who dies is Danzo, Orochimaro, Tobi / Madara, Zetsu and as soon as they die the others of the Akatsuki are nice.
oh and kiba with hinata; temari with shika, sakura with sakuke; neji with tenten; Kakashi with rin or shizune; Gaara and Natsume; Tsunade and jiraiya for couples. And Asuma with a civilian or with Shino with Karui.

well its abandoned

why you stop? the story sounds intersting.

yes on kushina and make her good

Nice

so you wasted most of the chp in fucking names shame on you

So...this should really be named "My self-insert Gary Stu story!" instead.

Nobody wants Jiraiyas autograph.

Okay, before I continue reading the story. There are a couple things I need to point out.

1: Do not 'shorten' words like Konoha Shinobi to KS. It shows that you're lazy and it makes the story worse. This is not a instant message chat, this is a chapter to a story. You have a duty to do things the correct way so readers can at the very least 'read' your story. Alot of people, me included will see that "KS" and simply stop reading just because of that, even if we like the pairing or the story due to other points.

2: For each person speaking you need to hit the 'enter' key to start a new paragraph. Not only is it very confusing to tell who is talking when you don't do it, it just makes it look very poorly done.

So if Naruto is talking and then say Yugito. Don't do what you have above try and do the following example if you want to make writing easier for yourself and reading easier for your readers:
xxxx
"Yugi-hime, come over here for a second please," said Naruto standing in the kitchen doing something

Yugito walked over to Naruto and replied, "What do you need?"
xxxx
See, it's far easier to see who is talking and you can give more detail to their actions, give them descriptions and things like that. It also makes it look alot neater which people like too.
Though just ignore the double spacing between the sentences, the review feature on here is toward sentences is screwy, so that's why I did that.

Personally, no one really cares what 'songs' are going to be in the story. It's not a bad thing to have them in the story. It's just no one really cares or will go out of their way to find the song and listen to it while they're reading.

As a short warning, if you're going to make any chapter into a 'songfic'... just don't. The admin's will delete the story within a week if you're lucky, a couple days if you aren't.

its not horrible...let it progress over time then give everyone a fair warning your goin to be revising all the chapters, and really its not

Panic! at the Disco, not sure if you have gotten grilled on that or not i am too busy trying to read, that only bugged my because i am a fan of them

Come on dude, you promised that many you better lay your cards down, cause you're creating genius.

For the poll I suggest punk hazard

in order yes good no danzo