Aww this was cute

AMAZING!

Anything else...

It was a very enjoyable read. I especially loved the small conversation that revolved around both their status and relationship, nicely elaborated, and again, AMAZING! xD

Love how you wrote the setting and how you ended it, by the way. xD

Nice One-shot!

aww that was cute!

Sweet - especially the last part )

I love how you portrayed Sois always correct and duty-related behavior, very in character for her as well as Yoruichis playful manor.

Good FF!

I've known your style since I read The Useless Ends on the Bleach Darkfic Livejournal. But this fic is remarkably well-written.

I'm not so much interested in the complexity of the relationship (even though that's important & you captured it a bit too well), but I find the complexity of the characterization even more compelling. You deliberately lull us into thinking Soi Fon will see out this story as a slave driver with the opening paragraphs, but by the end of the story you've spanned character-specific traits such as preference for love & protocol. If this fic wasn't narratively aligned to Soi Fon, it wouldn't be that great.

Just two issues: Firstly, I believe that the turning point in the fic comes when Yoruichi responds to Matsumoto about Soi Fon's relationship with her. The issue of why there was "anger beneath" the tone of her reply, I think, is a bit contentious because I don't really see any need for Yoruichi to be angry. The appropriate emotion would be either playful deceit, uncomfortable "restraint" or false confidence.

Second, I actually think that the archetypal (supposedly canon) interpretation of the Soi Fon/ Yoruichi relationship gets in the way of a really great ending. This story is about Soi Fon as a character, instead of her relationship with the Goddess of Flash (as implied in your summary). So by sticking to the shipper's expectation of an ending, I think you might have accidentally over-softened the fic & declawed potential conflict. Right up to the paragraph "...Because someday you might beat me...", I had been hoping for the night NOT to end on a good note, so that both characters could be put through more scrutiny, elaboration & detail.

These are my opinions - I've tried to give you possible suggestions also. Nonetheless, it's still a great story, worth the read :)

So they were lovers in this story? I was slightly confused by that, but I enjoyed it.

Haha...At least Soi Fong put up some sort of resistance before giving in completely.

This was a very well written yorusoi story. :)

Oh very nice. You really captured the complexity of Yoruichi and Soi Fon's relationship. I especially liked the exchange between them about Son Fon's status as servent to the Shihouin clan.

Excellent fic

This was one of those stories that left me feeling...happy is not the best word, but it's the only one I can come up with right now. I really appreciate how you defined how Soi Fon regards her relationship with her superior; it always seems implied in stories, but carries much more weight when actually stated. I hope you'll write another (perhaps longer? :]) story about these two. Great job. Great grammar (that is such an integral part of writing that way too many people skip).