Cool. Pretty cool.

finish please

Thought about making this longer?

this was very good but a little confusing. what great pain drove to to finall admit their love

This is so sweet, so romantic and so... passionate!

I remember this piece, dear :) But for some weird reason, reading it from FF makes it sound even... stronger. I mean, it made me shiver, pleasantly. So passionate encounter.

So many questions about this one-shot pop up in my head but I just sit silently and bask in that wonderful warmth you've created with your words.

Very good, honey!

Hugs,

Nury

*Blush* 0.0 *BLUSH* You should continue that one... *Pout* please?

Well, well, soldier...

This...was...N-I-CE!

Kinda angsty at the beginning, but then POW!

Shoujo-ai at it's finest, right in your face! LOL

Very sweet'n fluffy, and passionate, too!

Nice work, marine!

Semper-Fi! Carry on!

Very good story.

Despite it being so short you made quite an impact on me. It managed to give us the emotions perfectly.

I saw some minor errors though.

"The door jingled the entrance of a customer" Should be 'jingled at the entrance'

"Usagi reached up a trembling hand " Should be up with a trembling'

"cascading around her shoulders " Should be 'cascading it around'

"Uncharacteristic boldness glistened" I think it should be 'glinted', it's mainly tears that glisten.

"ever so slightly soft lips that opened for her." Should be 'slightly over the soft'

"needing the girl that stood behind her, wrapped so totally around shoulders that were slightly higher than hers, fingers twining and clutching soft blue hair at the base of her neck, feeling soft breasts push against her own" If Ami stands behind her, the soft breast would push against her back.

"loud in the silence beating in their hearts." Do you mean that their heartbeats were loud in the silence?

Good luck with the writing

Reader458