love it

freakin cute it was awesome but sad

keep up the good work

thats so F'ed up she beat u a girl with cancer!

Sorry, but there are too many grammatical errors. Not to be negative, but some of the sentences in this story have so many errors that I can't understand it. I suggest getting a beta reader. Overall it's a good plot, but you might want to develop it more (details, proofread, etc.). Correct the grammar more reviews, less negative comments. Capiche? Sorry, but I can't read it anymore.

love it

Love it xx write more soon xx

looking forward to reading and reviewing..,..,..,..,

good so far , but you spelt sweety wrong . you put sweaty instead . what a very motherly thing esme said . hahahahahahahahaha .

im sorry i dont mean to be negative but this story is really hard to read. there are many spelling errors and you have confused some words. all of this dampens the emotion in the story and it feels like im just reading words on a page instead of a story.

Also the lack of description makes the story 'empty'

When speech is used you are using the wrong tense. i admit this has improved since the frist chapter, its just slightly frustrating to have to mentally change the words all the time to make it gramatically corect.

the idea of the story however is great. i love the general plot

sorry again for being so negative

This is really good. I can see that you have improved from the first chapter already. Ya! See, the first was good, but now this is really good.

This is good. The plot can go any where at this point, so you want to continue to read.

Homeschoolers like me are awesome! Lol, this is good.

i love this story it.

i thought it was really funny and sweet.

i wished there were more chapter to it though.

i love this story