Interesting story. I hope you still plan to update this story!

Okay now I'm interested. Although, try to make it longer, mkay?

Okay so you added a it's actually starting to get interesting. Also, maybe you should try increasing your vocabulary?

Okay so you added a resolution, but now you need a climax.

This is lacking any conflict. You need to add a conflict.

You know that was very short, try to make it longer.

You have waited to long to update!

i am dying over here waiting

Awesome story.

awesome

Yeah, kick butt time!

I think someone else noted this as well, but try to avoid using symbols in place of words, for instance: "&" instead of "and." I'm looking forward to seeing how the Omega Defiance uses Charlie's family.

Good chapter, but a small detail: it's Dark Tamara, not Tamera. Again though, very small, so no big deal _. I'm looking forward to seeing if the other students get involved somehow. I'll be looking for the next part!

Great, more action, but you might want to check out how you arrange your sentence structure. There were some parts where I had to re-read just to understand, but great update.

It's okay, ecept the text talk is getting super annoying. Like putting and/or in a sentence? And instead of actually typing AND ur using text talk or internet slanng or whatever it's called and typing &. Just letting ya know, that's not actually a WORD. :

Sorry to say, but i'ts justt getting really anoying. Olus i'ts lacking detail. All youre doing in writing he said he responded he angrily said, ubt nothing in why ur chapters are so short. If you detailed them, and actually TOLD us what happened instead of just talking about everthing, it would be SO much bettre and get many more reviews. this story has potential, utb the whole text talk thing isn't exxactly making it better. you will get a lot more reviews if you cut the & instead of and, the other internet salng and add detail.

Need...more...chapter...

*Tragically dies from lack of chapters*

Hum, really short. But no matter, hope you update soon.