Reviews for The Raikage
Pucusi81 chapter 19 . 7/26
Enough is enough, this is one of the best written story, plot twist is amazing to say the least. Please find some time to continue this great story. Thank you for your time and efforts spent writing your story.
Danirodriguez1995 chapter 19 . 7/21
Please continue, the story is very good, do not give up, please, a story that the truth has no comparison. I can tell you since I am a fan of this type of stories and the truth is unmatched.
MattyNoire chapter 3 . 7/14
I'm liking the story, but this chapter was just a information overload, everytime a character's description was I thought that would be it, but more kept coming, I feel like this could've been done better, spacing out info for when it's needed, but I'm still excited for the rest of the story.
Bajan chapter 4 . 6/20
Can I beta your story for you please?
Would that also help with your finishing this story? I really like it. It’s just that the grammar and spelling errors are distracting.
Wolf1741 chapter 19 . 6/16
Story is absolutely amazing please update
mindanila471 chapter 19 . 6/14
Waiting for sale!
koseta.a chapter 3 . 6/14
Lots of little spelling errors that add up to fast
koseta.a chapter 1 . 6/14
Literally only a couple paragraphs in and you constantly switch between dope and dobe
Hariet chapter 1 . 6/6
This Hinata is worse than fangirl Sakura .

So she didn't care about anything ? Just her stupid crush ? How stupid can a person be . She doesn't mind being a branch member bcs she is crushing on Naruto who necer reciprocated her feeling ?
TheSatanicReaper4 chapter 1 . 5/25
this is a shinobi matter there for only the shinobi councils votes count
Lucybff1 chapter 3 . 5/20
There’s too much description. It gets boring too read and hard to keep track of. It would be better if you added the description after a character’s first dialogue or entrance otherwise the description should be brief.
Guest chapter 1 . 5/14
hahnsolo6969
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lives in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that the best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that read this letter, on a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on the site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake, apparently, if you copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow. . .
Bryan chapter 19 . 5/10
Yo man, I love your fan fictions. It has been years since a new chapter and I hope one is published this year due to this pandemic is going on. Overall, keep up the good work!
EllemenoB chapter 2 . 5/7
Holy block of fucking text, batman.
Seriously, cut the word play back. I can't even bring myself to read the walls of texts in this.

Also, grammar. Please fix it.
FinalDescendant chapter 3 . 5/7
Hello! It's pretty late to leave any reviews, but I just can't help myself. I have to admit that the story introduces a lot of interesting twists and concepts (particularly the events of the ten-year time skip and the handling of a new Kumogakure). The set up really compels me to read on! Unfortunately, the story does have a few crippling flaws. I've found chapter three to be most evident of this, so I just thought I'd give some advice for any who want it. I have no desire to flame the story or to unnecessarily offend anyone by doing so.
1.) It's important to observe the story's pacing! A noticeable issue is the constant "information dump" style that begins after the initial time skip. I felt that Kurenai's reflections on the previous 10 years, especially as concerns those close to her, was a clever way to recap (although clearly a little forced and a tad too bulky). Afterward, however, the story becomes almost entirely clogged. This is most easily observed with the introduction of the New Kumo and the members of the war council. Each person and location that is introduced have the potential to be incredibly interesting (whether for their badass skills, epic histories, or engaging characteristics), but are immediately spoiled by info dumping. That is to say, the audience had too much forced at them at once. With each person to enter the war council came a few paragraphs telling nearly their entire backstory, their skills and preferences, and even their personalities! If I were the author, I would imagine this being the result of an excitement to share what I'd view as awesome character integrations and world building. The problem is that with so much being just flat out stated from the moment of introduction, there isn't much reason to feel any interest or investment in the characters (outside of prior favor due to crossover content, etc). All of that information should absolutely be shared, but it should be done so a bit more naturally over time. Who is married to who or what a person's nickname is are both good examples of worthwhile information that could be imparted through dialogue between characters over the course of the story. It would serve to maintain investment in the characters over time, and possibly even increase said investment. There are so many names and backstories crammed into one chapter that I can't begin to differentiate or properly appreciate even half of them. I don't think it ruins the story by any means, but it does disrupt the flow immensely.
2.) Never forget to use punctuation! I know it's an obnoxious bit of advice (even now I can hear the nasally screeching of middle school writing teachers), but it really does become important to storytelling. It's not about following grammar rules for the hell of it. Punctuation changes the meaning behind sentences, alters the tone of a delivery, andperhaps most importantlysets the pace for the readers. That last point is the main issue I noticed with chapter 3. There may be times in writing where info dumps are necessary, even if not preferable. This is especially true for anyone that is new to writing. Regardless, the vast ocean of information can be scaled down into easily navigable channels with appropriate punctuation and organization. Commas and periods don't just mark sentences in this process. They help to distinguish the various details from one another, and tap out a rhythm of breathing for the audience. Chapter 3 suffered from a number of four to five line sentences that tried to convey a multitude of details with only sporadic commas. The same message may be passed in the end, but storytelling is just as much about the experience as it is about that message. For me, the chapter was a bit of a rough-and-tumble pace with a lot of new information and not enough guidance. Sentences seemed to run on and many character traits and world-building details were lost in the crowd. When possible, I'd even recommend being overly generous with punctuation if it means avoiding a severe lack of it. That is just my opinion, though.
3.) In a similar vein to my first piece of advice, make sure to build your world rather than to script it out! A commonly used phrase for that would be "show don't tell." This was most present in the descriptions of each person's personality during the war council. For example, Byakuya being described as having a colder or more detached personality (I'm obviously being lazy and didn't search for the actual terms used). Simply telling your audience that Byakuya is that way does multiple disservices to the world you are building for them. For one, I identify much less with the character, and therefore have a much more limited interest. It simply doesn't feel genuine. I can say that I'm a warm-hearted, friendly guy all I want, but it doesn't really mean anything. I know that I'm a cold-hearted bastard who's simply too lazy to care about starting trouble, and anyone who has met me would be able to tell. It's because actions
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