I like :)

though, it ticks me off that you mix Japanese in with it. And, it ticks me off even more because some of the Japanese is wrong. The language is 'English' you shouldn't bother adding Japanese.

ohh pls updated it soon!

i love it!

I like the approach of this story and i'm very interested in its continuation, thou i noticed it has yet to be updated for quite a while, still you should continue it, its awesome, i love an agstsy fai. i hope this goes on soon, ja!

I like this! :D I've always wondered how that conversation went.

I'm not sure I like the mixing of languages, but if that's the way you want it, I much prefer translation at the end of a sentence. Though I can't see why put it in three brackets...

Again, I like it how you are observant (the rain), but I'd say there's too much of the casual details. It's like, they're nice, but if you develop such a title and a summary, and end up describing how Fai and Mokona smile at each other and eat breakfast, it sort of doesn't match. I take it that's the beginning and it's going to change, but still.

And how come Fai is suddenly a "young man"? Last time he was "the older man", wasn't he?

Good description of Yuuko!

As for Fai, well, you do play him very well, but the insight into his feelings is rather limited, IMO. You only say he's hurting and sad, and however it is quite obvious why, it might be better to specify. You do have that part about sacrifice, yet it's brief. Were I you, I'd also definitely include something about what Fai learnt in Celes about the death of his twin! I find it very important.

Is that what you call constructive feedback?

I love your writing style. It's very simple and to the point, which I find is perfect for this sort of story. You pay very good attention to detail (such as that part about Fai's eye—as opposed to two) and I find your Japanese to be quite good.

So, as you can see, I don't have much in the way of constructive criticism, and I do apologize for that, but do keep it up! I already love this story as it is. D

This is so good!

Please, keep writing more!

You have an engaging style. I hope you continue. I kind of like the insertions of Japanese. (I always hear Fai saying "Jigen no Majo-san" when "Dimensional Witch" is written). Also, I enjoy your inclusion, and characterization, of Mokona. Mokona is an important and often overlooked character.

Love it.

I really liked this, and I'm surprised I actually knew all of the Japanese o

This is a very intriguing prologue, I'll look forward to reading more (:

Criticism?- Can't really think of anything... I'm so-so about the idea of Japanese being randomly mixed in with English besides honorifics, but I think it'll work out. I didn't really spot anything grammar/spelling wise that really stuck out.

: D

So sad pls continue.

Since I have more than just a basic understanding of Japanese, I understood the extracts of Japanese you used - only that it did peeve me because it's jarring and not really necessary. I mean, since you're writing the whole fic in English - why bother mixing languages and Fai is not really Japanese in the first place.

I don't mean to be this critical, but I think honest feedback is better than just going "fkjfkfjkfj update soon plz".

Otherwise, this fic is well-written - the way you describe things is very vivid and enjoyable. And I like the way you portray emotions; they are realistic and you do a fine job of diving into Fai's head.

I like it, this fanfic promise a lot :3 Goog work. Update soon! :D

Love it.

I love it, I really did! However, the constant Japanese lingo was making me run back and forth between the glossary and the actual fic, since I only knew "Ou" and "Gomen Nasai". To be honest, that did peeve me a bit. I do think you have a great writing style, though, and I'd love to keep up with this fic!