SWEET MERCY! I flipping loved this, I so wish this was me;)

Absolutely loved this. Ardeth totally didn't get enough love in the Mummy movies!

Beautiful and so emotional! I loved it!

you've created an excellent OC, possibly the only 3-dimensional OC of this section. I like this story.

it was beautiful :')

Hey, I really loved the series of one shots when I read them a few weeks ago, but I just found another story that includes the text of this one word for word ... it looks like it was published a year ago. Both look like good stories/good authors, and I'm really disappointed that one of them is obviously plagiarized. Take a look at "The Falcon and the Dove" by Rae Sweene ... what's going on with this?

So, palagerizm (which I think is spelled wrong). This is the same thing as The Falcon and the Dove by Rae Sweene. Way to suck. You should either change this or wait till it's taken down by admin. I know I'm repoting it right after this.

I'm glad that you posted your story on this site.

Actually, I already read it on deviantart one year ago I guess. Well I would not repeat my comment, but your story just so great. It's quite hard to find someone able to write that well. I'm really impressed.

Really wish to read more of you!

YAY! Oh thank god for someone in this fandom who can actually WRITE! And write beautifully too. I very much enjoyed the set up of this story, with an intriguing and distinct character who has an actual reason for being in the desert, as opposed to just randomly blundering out there for no apparent reason other than to be rescued and fall in love with Ardeth Bay. I also appreciated the little details that added to its authenticity - for a moment I thought you'd made a slip up by referring to a 'pocket torch', until I found out that the company Ever Ready actually developed battery operated pocket torches which became popular in the 1920s. HAHA! Yes, I do check these things (nerd alert).

I like Julia. She's not your usual thinly veiled self-insertion American teen princess OC. She's actually got a personality that is not only interesting, it could also be considered contemporary for the period. I particularly liked this:

"Mr. Collins," she began.

"Oh hell, call me Sam. We're all friends here."

"Mr. Collins..."

And this:

"Will you kindly throw up or fall down or do whatever it is you're going to do? I find your speechmaking as tedious as your attempts at charm."

Prim and proper to a fault, but she's a firecracker alright! Although do I detect a little ghost of a shadow of Evy in her character... perhaps even a little Amelia Peabody as well? ;-)

Alas, there is one flaw in this story... the relationship between Julia and Ardeth. So, he warns her to leave, she is unable to and gets in trouble from which he has to rescue her, but is that really enough to cement the kind of bond they seem to have developed by the last scene? It's as if there is another chapter somewhere in between him rescuing her and them parting that you've missed out. Without it, the feelings they have for each other seem to have materialised out of nowhere. They haven't had more than a few brief conversations to establish any kind of acquaintence, there has been no chemistry or sexual tension (except for the scene where he watched her sleep, but that was hardly even getting started when it ended) and suddenly he is kissing her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. I'm sorry, but it doesn't ring true. You need to go back and fill in blanks before we'll buy this ending I'm afraid...

Otherwise, a good story. Off to read the others now... :-)

Charming. I like Julia, she is endearing in her persistence. Gotta give her credit for good taste, I'd be after Ardeth Bay too. -