Compared to the original chapter 1 the pacing here feels better. The party setting is more fleshed out, and the way you have Eddy express himself before he starts counting the story seems better suited to his fugitive status compared to the mostly calm version in the original. It's also nice how you have him make a distinction between himself at present in a horrendous situation as a fugitive and only a little less then a year ago as a carefree highschool senior.

Yeah, I'd say your writing has gotten better compared to way back then, but the question is this: are you planning on continuing this story, reboot and all? Or was this just a little experiment?

Either way, I'm interested in what you're planning to do, wouldn't mind at least knowing what was the whole picture you had imagined when you wrote this story back then and perhaps even now.

Very nice story. Awesome way of telling it as well. Update whenever you get the chance and I'll continue to read and leave comments. Great concept too by the way.

Nice chapter, nice story. I would bring up the "elephant named Jamie" thing but, you know, hubris and all that.

Though there's something I should point out: At one point, you say it's 3:04AM on April 24th, yet the sun is out; Eddy and Rolf are going to the candy store (which, at that time, would probably be closed); and they pass Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo (sorry, Edd and Marie. See my review for It All Comes Down to the Choices We Make to get what I'm referring to) who were in a café. Then again, my stupidity might be acting up and the author (or anyone else, for that matter) would need to correct my corrections!

In short, can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

Damn, I must say this is a powerfully great story you got here Flywheel. Everything here is portrayed so accurately and you do a terrific job of combining humor and seriousness. Chapter eight made me almost shed a tear to my eye seeing Eddy & Rolf bond like these. A dad and a dad-to-be who grew up with each other, and getting along so well. They're all drifting apart, which is really to be expected, regardless if Eddy got Sarah pregnant or not. Speaking of the pregnancy, I must say that you're doing a wonderful job at portraying the situation so well. Keep up this excellent story, and I'll be sure to read you future chapters.

Great chapter!

UPDATDE NOW!

What's the best way to describe this chapter...amazing,powerful, maybe even emotionally accurate? There's much that I like about this chappie, too much to mention. The next chapter cannot come soon enough, excellent writting, Good sir! :)

Wow... That was amazing.

THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY ONE OF THE AWESOMEST THINGS I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE! PLEASE UPDATE! ! (shows you cutest puppy dog face)

Poor Eddy

Great chapter!

Both of the stories are wonderful! I hope to see an update soon.

I must say, Eddy's side of the story gets more and more intriguing.

Eddy's finally starting to realize that his choices from now on will never be as simple and straightforward as they were before, will he find a way to choice the right ones? according to himself in the first chapter, it got worse... gotta see how this keeps up!

Great chapter!

Wow... this version is really good to.

At least we know why Eddy did this that and the other in this story

Please! UPDATE BOTH SOON!