*mews* more? *pouts*

This has potential. Please continue.

Nicely done

I just started reading your story, and I couldn't help but notice your error on Shiloh's study. You specifically said that she took etymology, and then defined it as the study of insects.

Etymology is the study of linguistics. Entomology is the study of insects.

Other than that, it's a fairly decent story. I was a little lost at the beginning, and I feel like it's missing quite a bit of things. Nothing really happens in it.

Love Your Story! I hope u add more to it! 3 3 3

I love it! You're a very talented writer!