Well this story is a bit of a paradox for me. On the one hand, the story had a lot of novel moments like its predecessor and it didn't have the stain of that godawful mess of a fight at the end. However, the grammar quality took a very large and noticeable nosedive. Which is very unfortunate.

So it is a mixed bag I suppose. BO3 was made of awesome right up until the very end, which put a putrid aftertaste in what was an otherwise perfect story. SR3, on the other hand, was nowhere near as polished had a very interesting journey, and ended on a much better note, despite ending in the exact same place, Chronoplast Chamber. Ironic, that.

All told I enjoyed the story.

How did he not think the Seer was manipulating him? He is the cosmic pinball, whoever controls him can spin fate however they want. Janos and Kain are the only two people he can ever truly count on to not try and suborn him to their will.

How the hell did they build this thing so quickly? Has months past since this story began? I don't know how the Hylden could possibly have created this structure so quickly.

A maybe not so Silent Cathedral.

Good enough chapter here.

But it makes me this chapter makes me dispise the second to last chapter of BO3 all the more. Divus was way more powerful there in his fight vs Kain. Way more than the ambush, he was physically stronger, quicker, and you specifically said that he was predicting Kain's moves preternaturally. And in that fight, Kain had the Reaver. Here, with just his claws, Raziel was able to do what a significantly buffed up Kain could not?

No, that is just bad writing. So I must once again damn the writing there. Was very bad.

Damn, a 3 day journey across the ocean in a single glide? Impressive. Doesn't explain how Vorador and Sally managed to leave their exile. Water is a big deal to vampires after all.

Kind of guessed this outcome from the moment it was revealed one of the Hylden had wings. Whatever else may be said, it would be awesome if Raziel got his full wings back.

Interesting that you transplanted your OC from Restoration here. I find Sally to be an odd name for a vampire in this world.

Interesting conversation.

However, it must needs be said that I will be deeply disappointed if somehow the Seer is portrayed in a positive light as a favored character of yours. She was a throwaway character at best in a game that disrupted so much of the lore. You further color her as a manipulator like Moebius and just as treacherous. I honestly hope she meets a violent, painful end. Preferably having her blood sucked out by Kain immediately followed by Raziel devouring her soul. That seems to be the only way to permanently kill anybody in this series and she deserves it.

Taking a very different approach with this story. Raziel is getting wrecked left, right, and center. BO3 Kain felt like a juggernaut right up until the second to the last chapter, ripping through any and all opposition with barely any resistance. And here, Raziel has failed two of the three major battles he has faced. I wonder if this comparison is one you wrote intentionally or not?

Anyway, the idea of vampire sharks is just too goddamn cool to not talk about. The world needs more vampire sharks!

And like Raziel, I have often sincerely desired that Raziel got to keep his wings. His design with them are so freaking cool. Same for his offspring.

The Hylden have confirmed Janos' proclimation that the Hylden were very different in their methods towards humanity. Making them pets is especially disgusting.

And Raziel is honestly acting very stupidly and brashly.

I kind of get the impression you like humiliating the two main protagonists in the story.

And how can he say Janos is the only one on his side? Kain went to some insane lengths to be on Raziel's side. Up to and including diverting fate itself.

I don't understand why all these factions are still fighting over this version of Nosgoth. It is on the verge of becoming an entirely lifeless husk. The land produces nothing for humanity to sustain itself, thus depriving vampires of nourishment, the Hylden now invading will have no more success at coaxing life from the dead land than humans.

And once all these factions die off, even the Elder God will run out of souls to consume.

I fail to see how Raziel could doubt that anger. He sacrificed - everything - to give Kain the chance he needed to strike at the true enemy. And now a scheming, Moebius wannabe comes forward and makes it perfectly clear that she is responsible for, possibly, undoing the one thing Raziel wanted more than anything else in existence?

I'd have killed her in his shoes, honestly.

Well, this is quite the disconnect from the previous story. Also it seems its quality has made a precipitous drop, as I noted multiple grammatical errors, which also does not bode well.

But I am, to some degree at least, invested in this story and seeing where it goes. I hope that the mistakes of the past are avoided and the mistakes here are fixed in the future.