I loved it! Really beautiful story !

Oh my, I love it and I really really want to read teddy's point of view of this story

Heartbreakingly sweet. Up until the end, where it's just sweet and fluffy and making me do that strange half-muffled squeal. I think you captured the emotion beautifully, but, though I know you were working on tenses, the 'you had' sometimes interrupts/jars the voice in my head, if that makes sense. I think, because it's more like someone speaking, you could have used 'you'd' at times, instead. I know that sounds really vague, but that's just the feeling I got.

very sweet

Hi!

OMG, this is the best story I've ever ever ever ever ever read!

It's thanks to this story that I fell in love with TeddyxLily. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to allow me to translate it in Portuguese. Would you?

Credits would obviously be given, and your story absolutely deserves to shine on other languages. Please, pretty please?

Thank you very much

Ice

I never reviewed this? I read it AGES ago!

This is one of the best freaking stories I have ever read on this site, and the best I've ever read by you. This story SHOWS me, by itself, how talented you are and that you can /pull this off/. You writing is beautiful, and your characters are so damn 3D. This story is almost perfect; the only thing I'd want to see more of is dialogue, even though I love description. Not short, snappy dialogue. Maybe longer trails of it.

This is brilliant and beautifully written. Your second person is /perfect/, Amy. And I know you have a block, but keep TRYING, because you can achieve things like THIS.

I genuinely don't think I can express how much I adored this. Everything about it was so wonderful and it was beautifully written with these fantastic emotions and GAH, I just loved it.

This line:

'If someone had told you, earlier on in life, that you would have been there, feeling that, (so far past only) wanting him, you . . . would have believed them completely; you would have thanked them, too, for seeing and informing you of what you had been too blind, too naive, to see.'

really got to me because it was so hauntingly beautiful that... Wow. Just wow.

The mini chapter titles were perfect and the paper aeroplanes was just so unique and pretty and I just loved it! (Along with the entire fic).

Oh my goodness, Ellie recommended reading your Teddy/Lily fics, and I'm totally glad that I decided to - this was amazing on so many different levels, I'm probably going to forgot a few things in this review, so don't mind me.

First off, your second person prose was brilliant. I couldn't see any mistakes, and it's the best second person story I've read in a while... I've actually never seen someone pull it off as well as you did.

I loved your Lily. She was just so vulnerable and you could literally feel all the agony she was going through, thanks to your writing. Your words were just so beautiful, they flowed wonderfully and it was probably the most poetic thing I've ever read on fanfiction.

"It had always been the worst when everything was quiet and dark, when it felt as if you were the only person alive, when you felt as if everyone else were just illusions or mirages that lived with the sun and you were the only living, breathing person in the world."

THAT LINE. That line was one of the ones that got to me the most, I don't know why, but it did.

I loved the entire theme with the paper planes - it was so nice to see how it played a part in each and every section, and the ending with him sending a blank paper plane because he was /actually/ at her door was so uniquely romantic, I adored it.

So, yeah. This is basically the first Teddy/Lily I've ever read [Ellie kind of, sort of converted me to the pairing in the first place], and you've gotten me hooked on the them already. I absolutely loved this! :)

Aww, so sweet :)

Oh my gosh.

I think my stomach flipped and turned like a million times within this story! That was incredible. I loved the paper planes and the whole intensity of this story. Definitely one of my favorites!

Loved it especially the end when he shows up with the airplane in his hand :)

To put it bluntly, I envy you and your writing talent.

Everything you've written is so beautiful and you have this wonderful ability and I'm so glad you've decided to share it with us. You've made me fall in love with TeddyLily all over again.

Thank you for writing this!

The following is a graded review. Your fan fiction will be ranked in five categories on a 0-10 scale. This review is only the opinion of a single reader and you are free to disregard it if you wish. For more information, see my profile. Feel free to reply or to contact me with any questions or concerns.

Story: 7/10. I think that this story is really strong thematically and I love how you keep coming back the paper airplanes. You use repetitive phrases a lot (in a good way) that really makes each section of the story pack some punch because it builds on what came before. However, I felt that a lot of this story was really abstract. I wanted to see more of Teddy and Lily actually interacting or at least doing something and less of the abstract thoughts.

Characters: 7.5/10. Your main character has a really strong voice and I think that you do a good job of showing what the relationship is all about. I would have liked to have seen more of Teddy. I also thought that a lot of the feelings that Lily had were intense, but they were also sort of generic – as if anyone in that situation could have felt them. They don’t tell me a lot about her as a character.

Creativity: 7/10. I like the idea of the paper airplanes a lot, but like I said earlier, a lot of the feelings seem really abstract and generic. I’d love to see more little moments between the characters like the one in the beginning when they make the first airplanes.

Writing: 8.25/10. Your writing style is really descriptive and beautiful. Sometimes, it really gets a nice rhythm to it like with “every little thing that had been bothering you, confessed to him among the swaying tall grass surrounding you and the dipping birds singing above”. However, I never quite got used to the second person point of view in this fic and I have enjoyed reading second person in other fics. It might have been better if it were in present tense. Most of the second person fics I’ve read have been in present tense. I also think that you sometimes use a few more words than necessary like with “he had others– people his age who were prettier and funnier and older– and you couldn't fathom how could he miss you as much as you missed him when he had everyone else?” I think the sentence would be stronger if you left off the last five words because you’ve already stated that he has other people – the last five words are implied.

Believability: 8.5/10. I like how you show the ups and down in how the main character feels and you don’t make the fic too angsty or too happy. It can be hard to strike that balance. I can definitely see this situation transpiring in this way. There is a pretty big age difference between these two characters, though, and I would have liked to have seen that addressed more. I’m not saying that the pairing could never happen, it very obviously could, I just like to see how the characters deal with potential issues.

Overall: 7.75/10. I tell a lot of fanfiction authors to get inside the heads of their characters more. I’m going to give you the opposite advice – I think that you need more action, interaction, and dialogue and less abstract inner musings. Your writing is very beautiful, there are just a few places it needs tightened up.

Thanks for paying attention to my concerns and good luck in the future.

ReviewsGalore.

'If someone had told you, earlier on in life, that you would have been there, feeling that, (so far past only) wanting him, you . . . would have believed them completely; you would have thanked them, too, for seeing and informing you of what you had been too blind, too naive, to see.'

I just loved absulotely everything about this, but that line really got to me (and will be the one i'll remember.)

This is just one of those stories that will always stay with you (and I love that) and you can read over and over and still marvle at how a-ma-z-ing it is!

Gah, I just can't tell you how in love I am with this right now xD

This is unique and adorable and original and lots of other amazing words. You are such an amazing writer and I envy you so much for it.