Hello there! I have not forgotten about this story, this was kind of put on hold due to problems, and I've gotten lost as far a the narrative goes, and need to start over again. I'll be finishing the story like I promised, I got it bookmarked, but it may take a while. Sorry about that.

Only three chapters in so far, but WOW. This has been incredible thus far, the world and character building are top notch, the plot is gripping so far, and the plot really has me sucked in. I love seeing some of the inner-workings of a Hive City, and some of the less Grimdark aspects of it. The only complaint I have, a nitpick really, is that there are unnecessary spacing in-between words at times. "what ever" & "las gun" being two examples. That aside, this has been top-notch.

I haven't even begun reading this yet, but when it popped up at the top of the list, the first thing I saw was "146,000 words".

I'm giving this a ten out of ten for sheer fucking dedication my man. I can't write half of that if you gave me a year.

9 out of 10.
Nice writing. Good action and well fleshed-out characters. Attelus and his father (if the masked man really is his father) reminds me of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Keep up, man.

Very interesting so far. This feels like it could be the opening to a game of Dark Heresy (or some other Warhammer 40K rpg).

In general, this chapter has decent grammar and spelling throughout, although I spotted a few minor mistakes (for example, you spelled the name "Brutus Bones" in a couple of different ways). A good start!

10 out of 10.
Lots of emotion and suspense. The conversation between Attelus and the Farseer is good, too. So, he is a perpetual now, like the Emperor. I feel sorry for anyone opposing him already, having him coming back to hunt them over and over again.

10 out of 10.
Great style, nice combat and a lot of Inquisitor-in-action. A few grammatical mistakes, not a big deal.

8 out of 10.
This is looking quite good. Except for the short paragraphs which put to much focus on conversation. Nice actions and characters. Hope you continue this.

This is an excellent fan fic, gripping story coupled with what seems a great deal of insight into the warhammer 40k universe I love it it's a shame you don't have more reviews you certainly deserve it. An interesting choice having the protagonist start of seeming incompetent not helpless he is a highly trained killer after all but still unable to save what he wants. Then having him under the heel of yet another being that controlled his first mistress keep writing it would be a shame for this to end on chapter 22

Very nice descriptions and good plot work. I like this story and shall wait for the next chapter. Great character persanalities.

Very nice and detailed characters constructions. Need more descriptions of the surrounding areas, though. Hope you keep up.

Reminds me of Eisenhorn and Ravenor.

Very decent writing style and quality of reading. Good job.

Looking good. Keep up.

Uhm, what to say? Well! First things first congratulations in writing such a compeling story, I'm really liking it so far, probably one of this filters best IMO, you have a very solid plot that twists so much you can't actually predict it (well... At least I can't) also you've probably got one of the most interesting POV characters I've ever read and this is no small praise i'd say with all the crappy POV characters out there. So congratulations on writing this i hope to see more from you, not just this one but the more to come in the future I hope.