Riku is pretty despicable in the first game. I can't blame Sora for dreaming that he'd do something like this.

this story sucks, hahahaha no i am just joking. This story is really good, kind of sad but I like the way you told it with a lot of details. I hope someday I can write like you

*Tilts head* I like third person better. Unless the first person makes hilarious comments. John Green first person, mostly...

*Shrinks* This kinda confused me. XD But as always I was dazzled by your amazingness. LUFF YOU, ANGEL-CAKE! .

Awesome~!

aaaah! that was certainly scary ._. yeep.

i think you did pretty well with first person, though you might be having a few voice issues. think about how Sora would describe the island. would a 14-year-old use detailed description like that? try to write more as if you're the character, and they're the ones describing it.

this may be irrelevant, but try to think about tense when you write in first person. if you write past-tense, it should be written as if they were retelling something that already happened. the way you wrote it seems like it was happening at that very moment, but the past tense threw me off a little bit.

there's my two cents, keep on writing!

-UnVeRsEd

PS: i'm working on that KW chapter, it'll be up soon!

First person writing is an awesome style to try out XD It was to be my original idea for my Shards of Fate series, but realizing how many points of views I'd have to catch up on, I stick to the journals and stuff that might come up XD Good job though!

Recommendations if you want good first person writing...Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Olympians series and The Kane Chrnoicles: The Red Pyramid. They're awesome reads XD

I guess his subconcious recognizes this Riku as a threat. That bit at the end... that was Kairi's heart, wasn't it.

Very intresting use of first person. It's very well done, and flows just as well as your third person writing. The concept was also good, and it had a very surreal feel to it. Great work.

I don't know why, but your writingstyle's changed somehow. It's not bad, though. I love the fact how you keep everyone in character. Definitely a fave.