All I have to say is... THANK YOU!
This summarizes literally every trope-filled fanfiction that is literally the same thing, but just a little different, and this is coming from me! Someone who reads Naruto fanfiction and crossovers in general, and is sick of it. I know this is a satire and humor story, but it brings up so much on what is wrong with fanfiction.

It's always the same thing being done over and over again with no thought of originality being put into it.

If it's not a Harem with each female character becoming generic doting housewives, Mega Bashing, OP, and making Naruto into this hunky, chunky, lion's mane Adonis, it doesn't deserve to be reviewed, much less get any attention.

It's literally the author projecting their insecurities onto a character while making it plain obvious that it's wish-fulfillment.

The second an actual original story features something like the concept of growth, people are quick to walk away. And it could be the story that has the least amount of clichés, yet gets nothing from it. Fleshing out a character as a person with feelings, bringing actual growth, learning actual lessons, and becoming a better person are things that are overlooked for no good enough reason.

Some writers on this site try so hard and put so much thought and effort into their work only to hear crickets, and it's unbelievable. The person who puts little to no effort gets so much undeserved praise and reviews for basically making the same copy and paste story with the same easily digestible content for angsty teenagers that determine that a good story is based of off making the character a victimized Gary-Stu, it's crazy!

Some writers do the review baiting and hold chapters hostage because they are so addicted to getting their fix that the story doesn't matter anymore, and it's a good thing these are a minority at best.

Meanwhile, a Good Writer that quits because of the lack of reviews is probably because they think they're terrible because of the surprisingly big yet silent audience that says nothing.

F*cking hilarious

This was the wakeup call I needed! This was so funny but so positive too :)
Please review my story guys, I really need some inspiration and motivation to continue :(

What a great article with good advice for getting reviews. I loved it!

I hope you will read and review my story s/13180700/1/Fated (see that I already learned something from your post) lol

Step 1:
Whoa! Writing fics that you hate for reviews! Meaning, sacrificing your own happiness in exchange for... A different type of happiness? Damn, that's one thirsty hoe!

Step 2:
It's pronounced. Yaaah(like that bitchy girl accent)—Oiiiiii(that British guy accent). Hmm, wait, did that sound right? Nope, there's no doubt I nailed it.

Step 3:
Whenever I read full caps I get PTSD flashbacks. Do you, by any chance, hear the screams? STOP FUCKING SHOUTING GODDAMIT

Step 4:
Hmm, hm, hmm... I see, I see, those readers need some self-validation so you're offering them a spot for their own OC? Very clever. Very clever indeed.

Step 5:
Mm... Okay, let's utilize the carrot-and-stick method. No next chapter until a certain amount of reviews. Those ungrateful bastards had better fulfill the demands, or else their wet dream fic will come to an end. Verrrry nice.

Step 6:
Subliminal messages... Illuminati ConfiRmeD

Step 7:
Wow hahah imagine having like fifty stories and then 'updating' them all at once? You're bound to get at least something!

Step 8:
Ok.

Love your humor!

Lol. Good, now please go check out my stories, they're really great. (I like to call those ones Sin0h's)

Can someone please help me to check if my fanfic fits these criteria?

This was super cute! ( i am so late to the party but hey ho!) and made me chuckle a lot , made my bad day better actually , thank you! :D have a nice day x

Well that was funny

give me my 500 dollars

500 dollars says I will be the last person to ever review on this ehehehe

I actually found this on Google when I was looking for real tips on how to get reviews. Even though this wasn't what I was looking for, I still found this very funny and it made me laugh and smile. Thanks for sharing.

You know what...you're funny...in the good way, you really have a way of getting people to finish reading, that takes a LOT of talent...so good job

Love it! Xx