sooooooo cute

After reading this I immediately hate this

This just screams butt rape

but she is a human like any fucking 1kigyar or 2luguro or 3sanghelie can see through that or just raise a eyebrow and say wtf decription to names you should no as 1jackals / 2hunters/ 3elites you can tell your not stupid

This is very poor writing, I couldn't tell when you were making POV changes and the grammar is bad, which I am usually okay with, but this is just bad and cringe worthy writing
Take a writing class or something dude

Do you not ever finish a story I mean it's 2015 now and it ain't done yet so erg man

WOAH! Plot twist

cool. i liked how you paired them up

Well I think they were indeed amazing. But yes please! I definately want more and to see a different version (perhaps longer and more detailed) version of this story, it indeed was tantalizing and titillating.

Ooooh. I love these short tantalising chapters! Leading to far more interesting prospects for the future! Awesome!

ok I don't have a gf but I know that's not how it works for a fact

so what a grunt shot her?

not bad but if I was in her postion I think id be shitting bricks

I've read better stories. Maybe you should get your story read by a Beta reader before publishing something from now on...

Well, I'm not sure if you've improved your writing skills or not, so what the heck, you did an 'alright' job.

I just think you did a poor job transitioning from "filthy human scum" to "my dear baby doll." I mean, WTF?! People are usually NEVER capable of forgiving so easily, let alone become attracted all of a sudden. Ah well, I guess I've been reading too well-crafted stories in order to fully appreciate the novice ones as well.

Anyways, go find yourself a Beta Reader, and put a little better transitioning of thoughts, perspectives, and plot summarizing into your stories. I'm sure your stories will be better-received when you decide to do so. Good day.

On all fours, but with stomach facing up...

...Hoooooow?