I really do hope that you end up continuing this story, i really think that it'll be different from the others that i've seen. So please continue the story :)
Ps i know that you published this in 2010, but maybe, just maybe theres a chance

Well that's an interesting spin. Great job writing this! A handful of small grammar mistakes but nothing bad enough that it detracted from the story. It would be interesting to see where continuing this story might go, especially if you've read the end to the manga. Anyways, great work and thank you much for writing this! -Jesi Ki Kage

I really wish u would continue this and have them seek out Deneve, Helen, and Maria. The look on Maria's face along with Helen's would be priceless!

I kind of wish there was more to this. After all, I fail to see any reason an awakened Clare wouldn't be happy chasing down Priscilla, and the Riful/Galatea/Jean/Clare task force could probably do anything. If only they could move past the gut-eating, it would be epic.

Sort of want to write that now.

Anyway, fabulous story. Fascinating concept, beautifully executed, and you kept a wonderful handle on all of the characters. I'm thrilled to have found such a lovely fic.

Would make a definitely amazing story.

I really like your AU. I hope you could put a secuel of this fic.

Riful y Dauf Galatea, Jean y Clare would be an excellent faction of power.

Despite reading here on fanfiction for nearly a decade, I never really wrote many reviews. Actually not even fanfction seems to remember my last review.

But right now I feel like I must write this review because you aren't getting the credit and praise you deserve for this One-Shot.

Let me tell you first, that your One-Shot is certainly the best in the Claymore section and also the best One-Shot I've read in a long, long time (in my opinion).

It also has a great potential to be expanded into a real story. In the recent years I can recall only a handful of storys with the same kind of potential.

Let me give you some examples (not really sure if I should do that since you know this better than me):

-Galateas Awakend form

-the hole 'being Rifuls lacky'

-Relationship Awakened Clare with Miria, Deneve and Helen (opportunity for some great scenes)

-fighting Easly and his Army, fighting the Organization

-getting revenge on Priscilla

-Clare's relationship with Raki

-eating humans / being a monster

Those are just some of the problems and conflicts the characters in your One-Shot could face and they really have the oppertunitys for a great story.

It really pains me to read that you don't plan to expand your One-Shot or to continue in some way because I feel this could turn into something great.

I really hope that after you sorted out your real life problems you come back and give it a chance. There are far to few "Clare Awankened Being storys" if you ask me.

Having said all that I want to give a little constructive criticism on your One-Shot, or I should better call it my personal preference:

I think your gap between Scene 1 (fighting Scene) and Scene 3 (Awakening Scene) is a little to big. I find it very good that you added the Scene with Alicia (Scene 2) as we sort of know it from the manga but it can't fill the gap.

There is so much happening between Scene 1 and Scene 2 (awakening of Galatea and Clare). I think you sort of missed a chance to write some very good scenes. The whole inner struggle of the claymore trying to supress their own akwakening, the toughts and feelings before the awakening, the fight against the sensation that one feels shortly before awakening, the desperation when they feel they can no longer suppress it , the sensation they feel in the moment of awakening and how their personality and thoughts change, etc. Also what the others around them feel, say and think (Claymores and Riful and Duaf alike).

In a way the same thing yout did in Scene 3 with the whole awakening of Jean.

This would give you 2 advantages. The first is that you could show off more of your writing skills and imagination with the awakening of Galatea since she is a more open character because we don't know much about her thought's, background and personality from the manga as we do with other Claymores, leaving much to you and your skill. The second is that you could better connect the Clare from scence 1 with the Clare from Scene 3. You certainly tried that in Scene 3 by giving a short rundown on Clare, but you still left a gap which the reader has to fill with their own imagination. Therefore it can happen that you loose some readers between the scences like Orange Julius pointed out in a way.

At last let me say that I truly enjoyed reading your One-Shot. You've created a wonderful One-Shot with great potential and I really hope that you expand it in one way or the other (story, series of One-Shots based on this one) if you find the time and inspiration. If another author continues this please let us know but I would prefer if you could continue it.

Any mistakes in grammer or vocabulary and certainly my bad writing skills are due to english not being my native tongue )

In answer to the previous reviewer's response, yes, it is difficult to get Clare to awaken. Not impossible, mind you, since Clare almost lost it, if it hadn't been for Galatea. I'm depicting a situation in which she is under Riful's control, without the power to take her own life, just like the situation in which Clare meets Jean for the first time, in Jean's awakened form. Clare is, without a doubt, a very strong-willed woman, with a very short list of 'things to do in life.' Riful had already noticed, as per the manga, the importance to which Clare attaches to Priscilla, and being the manipulator that she is, would likely try to utilize that knowledge as much as possible, once Clare is restrained.

As an awakened being, from what I hinted towards the end, Clare would still want to go after Priscilla, with the aid of Riful and Dauf. We know, with hindsight, after more recent chapters of the manga, that Clare simply isn't strong enough. But that would not stop her from going after Priscilla, regardless. Clare can be very rash, as can be seen time and time again, and if you were to put Priscilla right in front of her, she will heedlessly go after Theresa's killer, no matter what her strength level is in comparison. Even after 7 years, she would still not be strong enough, unfortunately, since Yagi has made Priscilla to be stronger than any of the Abyssals, and in their second encounter in the manga, Clare had admitted to Riful that she was still not strong enough to take Riful on. As the reviewer hinted, yes, it does take some more for Clare to be able to face off against Priscilla. In this moment in my story, however, Clare's single-minded pursuit of vengeance has seen her seek some allies, to aid her on her quest for vengeance.

As for whether Riful's new group would be strong enough to take on the rest of Isley's army...who knows? I tried to do some thinking about it, to see whether I can continue the story further, but I simply don't have enough ideas to further develop the story. So, in response to my first reviewer, I unfortunately cannot come up with more material, and this would have to remain a one-shot.

Clare did indeed make a promise to find Raki. However, in more recent chapters, when she finally meets Priscilla again, does Clare say to herself, "no, I need to go find Raki first...Priscilla can wait." ? No, Raki no longer becomes a priority, and she goes off against Priscilla. Or, alternatively, I suppose, if Raki was the reason for keeping her sane the first time she awakened, then perhaps Clare would be able to hold out, like Jean did, with the hope of seeing him again. But eventually, she would die from her injuries, as Dauf makes her into a pincushion, if she does not awaken.

I hope this provides some light into the thinking that was going on in my mind. For those of you that did not find it or the story satisfactory, I apologize. The idea just sparked, and I didn't spend nearly as much time with it as I do normally with my other stories. If someone wishes to take this story further, just let me know.

For Clare to easily give in and give up then awakened is very unlikely. The only way she'd do something of that natural is to awakened in front of Priscilla and fight her to avenge Teresa. Not awaken for someone that's the likes of Riful. Clare would rather die if she had no other option available to her.

So what's her purpose of living now, now that she's an awakened being? Be Riful's lackey? The way she is now, Clare still won't be strong enough killed Priscilla. She needed that seven years of training and whatever the destoyer does to her, to be ultimately strong as Priscilla.

Futhermore, even with Riful, Clare, Galatea, Jean and Dauf; they're still not strong enough to take on Isley, Priscilla, Rigardo and the rest of Isley's awakened army. And what of Clare's promise of finding Raki? The person she cares for and important to her. She was in the process of looking for him when she awakened. But she threw all that away for this? I hope you have a good enough explaination, to tell us readers why she did this lowly move of her part.

Besides all that mumbo jumbo, the story was well written.

I don't know why no one has reviewed your story yet. I for one thought it's a great change having clare, Jean, and Galatea awaken and join Riful rather then them making it out. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens now.