great

I LOVE IT AND IF I HAD AN ACCOUNT YOU WOULD BE ON THE TOP OF MY AUTHORS LIST!THANK YOU!

this was a great story you should do a sequel to this one

Well, I really don't wish to offend you, as you had come up with a VERY orginal plot idea, but... I just didn't feel it.

I didn't feel worried or scared about Ventus/Venitas and how he would survive. I didn't feel Aqua and Terra's sorrow and despair. To be honest, it felt like I was reading off a script. No feelings came to me.

With all of the Keyblade warriors, you had a fantastic chance to describe everything. But why were they fighting? Did they just team up with the first person that they spotted? You failed to expand on that.

As for Terra taking out 13 Keybladers... Impossible. Unversed, yes. But these people have the same power as him, maybe more. Terra would have at least gained serious damage.

The amount of grammar mistakes... *Shakes head in amazement* Incredible. Just incredible. Do you proofread your work, or get someone else to do so, as I lost count of the amount of no full stops, no capitals, and mixing up words such as 'Their' and 'There', the amount of times you mixed up the different tenses etc.

So overall, my verdict is that you had a very unique plot, but you failed to grip the reader into the story. You should find a Beta-Reader, and use Spell Check and Grammar Check before publishing this. Read over your work, correct any mistakes and describe everything much clearer.

Of course, other people may not agree with me, but that is just my opinion. Please take this into consideration.

Thank you,

Keyblade War Lover.

Well, I really don't wish to offend you, as you had come up with a VERY orginal plot idea, but... I just didn't feel it.

I didn't feel worried or scared about Ventus/Venitas and how he would survive. I didn't feel Aqua and Terra's sorrow and despair. To be honest, it felt like I was reading off a script. No feelings came to me.

With all of the Keyblade warriors, you had a fantastic chance to describe everything. But why were they fighting? Did they just team up with the first person that they spotted? You failed to expand on that.

As for Terra taking out 13 Keybladers... Impossible. Unversed, yes. But these people have the same power as him, maybe more. Terra would have at least gained serious damage.

The amount of grammar mistakes... *Shakes head in amazement* Incredible. Just incredible. Do you proofread your work, or get someone else to do so, as I lost count of the amount of no full stops, no capitals, and mixing up words such as 'Their' and 'There', the amount of times you mixed up the different tenses etc.

So overall, my verdict is that you had a very unique plot, but you failed to grip the reader into the story. You should find a Beta-Reader, and use Spell Check and Grammar Check before publishing this. Read over your work, correct any mistakes and describe everything much clearer.

Of course, other people may not agree with me, but that is just my opinion. Please take this into consideration.

Thank you,

Keyblade War Lover.

I STILL lOVE IT!

YOU JUST INSPIRED ME TO WRITE A New FANFIC!

I HAVE ABOUT 30 STORIES THEIR NAMES ARE HORRIBLE BUT THE sTORY ITSELF IT PRETTY GOOD AND I DON'T HAVE ANY ACOUNT SO I'M GONNA START TOMORROW.

YOU AND MY FRIEND HAVE BOUTH INSPIRED ME TO WRITE TENTH KINGDOM HEARTS/NARUTO UP THE GREAT JOB!THIS FIC SHOULD BE GETTING WAY MORE REVIEWS!

I just came back from karate and finished reading so I have a couple words to say LOVE IT; as well as THIS SROY SHOULD BE GET MANY MORE REVEIWS!

TWO WORDS

I LOVE IT(three words but if you go to the colisim phil always says 3 words means two words and 2 words means three words)!

Awwwww how cute ven is terra and aqua's son this is a great story the plot thickens with every chapter update soon

LOVE IT!

I LOVE IT !

PLZ UPDATE!I LOVE THE STORY!JUST BECAUSE IT'S A SUSPENSE STORY DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO KEEP US WAITING!I DON'T HAVE AN MORE HAIR TO PULL PLZ JUST UPDATE!I CAN STRESS IT ENOUGH!

good chapter

You might want to fix some grammatical mistakes. Other than that, your story is pretty good. It has potential, hope you update soon.

good chapter