Oh, pfft. I remember this! Ooh...bad adhd memory, haha. You should finish, hun.

What! Dedicated to me? Why didn't I find this? Probably cuz I was sick...I'll go read it all right now! THANK YOU!

It was a pretty good story there were just some rough parts that were hard to understand but still it was pretty good. N Hatori was adorable!

Holy hell! Koenma is evil!

And I don't mind it being short. Sometimes that cannot be helped.

This is not a flame, but the truth is, your stories are hard to get through. There is always a lot of dialogue and, unfortunately, very little else. Setting, description, character development, personal style of the author - these are the things that make a piece of fiction worthwhile and enjoyable...but your stuff pretty much lacks all of them. If you have any desire to see the direction you need to take in order to improve your skills immensely, try reading a few fanfics by some of the more experienced and talented writers on this site. For example, since you're into Hieicentric romances, try some of the works by JaganshiKenshin. Not only is she a wonderful wordsmith, but you'll love her stories! :)

Thank goodness Hiei saved her. Oi. Koenma is the bad guy I see. Well, he is Yama's son. It could be possible.

My critiques are the same as the last fic, really. Then again, maybe it's your computer or how FFN is being a bitch! I've had it where it screw my fiction, too.

ANYWAY.

For shame, Kuwabara! You should not spank a child! (Although, in the manga, Yusuke spanked the mud out of one little spirit girl)

I don't approve of spanking, though I doubt Kuwabara would ever be the spanking type. But he would give a GOOD scolding. That man is like a "Mr. Mom" figure. But hey, Kuwabara is the comic relief, as you've said (even in my stories, I still have him as that, even when being the main character)... And it is Hiei's kid. Not to say that he wouldn't like the kid or hate him, but... As I've said, Hatori IS Hiei's kid.

Yes, I found some errors... But my gods, the cute overwhelms everything! It's SO cute! I love it! Hatori is like his daddy, only a little kid version of himself.

Hiei is good father. I wouldn't expect him not to be. I also like the interactions between Botan and Hiei. Nice vanilla scene, btw.

Cute fic overall!

It looks good. I hope it does well. Keep it up!