A lot of grammar mistakes. Some punctuation.

But worst "The dark duchess stalked the oblivious boy to his own hindquarters in the deepest farthest quarters of the confines." I don't think you meant that he was stalking his ass. Sleeping quarters perhaps?

Beginning part of Riku's monologue to Kairi.. It's a little too narrative. I get that you use it to further your description in his POV, but it does.. go with his speech.

'conscieceous'... which were you going for?

"So that was it, the little shit just missed the keyblader." I think it's a lil ooc for someone like Maleficent.

Separate paragraphs for every person with dialogue.

# "If you miss him, why not bring him here?"

NP # Riku jumped in front of Kari keyblade in hand, for her protection as Maleficent made herself known to the boy. "You, you were eavesdropping on me you snake!"

I love your description of when Riku is 'summoning' a shadow-Sora x] Very well-done.

Good job with Riku being horny. Not abrupt at all. Funny too xP

lol, Kairi is still in the room ...

LOL Good boy, now get off. XD

Better. Much better. You've improved over the year. Your descriptions are much more fluid. Just watch your conjugations and word choice, and you'll be ff-famous yet.

VERY nice ending. Kay, I loved this one. Sooo going in my favourites.

YHS

xDelfin