Ooh wonder what answers they find.. and what questions surface. Also happy to see you writing. Doing my best to beat my own depression back as well and get to writing. Lately all I write is negative and violent so not worth posting yet lol. Interesting that they squabbled, even besties have their moments I guess. Hope you can post another entry soon!

Hi interesting... Facing fears alone... not smart but hey that's Tab. Good to see you're sticking to your stories. So what is this Archive of our Own?

Nice to see this one being updated again. Sorry to hear about the laptop - that's always a major bummer when they fail. Will be looking forward to the next chapter.

This is just a brilliant fanfic, I hope you will continue to update this story regularly.

Those PTSD moments really suck.. I mean it sucks for her not that you suck at writing them lol. That little moment with Carlisle still freaks me out haha. I don't know why, just does. Guess it's because I forever imagine him married to Esme. And good to know what the situation with Lauren was, first time around I didn't realize she was possessed. Honestly this chapter didn't feel long at all. Good sign! So... when you dropping by my neck of the woods to drop a line? Woman I'm almost done with the story lol.

I think this is very believable. Considering what Sarah has been through (only guessing. Still not sure what happened) this is light enough. The story isn't a fluffy bunny and with the crap Sarah has been through it can't be. Her reaction to Carlisle still floors me though. "Yummy!" Lol. Not my first thought but to each their own. Lauren is still a bitch and I REALLY wanna see her get hers. Having JD around does make things a bit lighter too, she somehow seems to be the conduit readers can expresses themselves with.. maybe. Not sure, could just be me. Nice seeing those two interact again regardless. Though my question is what baddie is showing up now and who's feelings was Sarah picking up as it's not entirely clear. Jasper at some point but who were them mystery feelings coming from? So many questions! Hope you feel better soon!

(::)

Love it.

:)

Holy- what the loving- JD is in this already?! You shocked me, pleasantly surprised I must say. Lmao love Sarah's blunt responses though. Wondering what tweaks you've made to the plot now that these two are involved from the start. Oh joy the craziness that follows these two and poor Bella at the center of it all.. excited!

Yay it's back up! Aside from the typos here and there Sarah does seem more chipper... for a sardonic loon lmao. Really motivating me to hurry up and put up my own edited chapters but I'm a perfectionist. Still loving how down to earth this version of bella is as opposed to the nonsensical one in the actual story.

I like it! (And I'm very pleasantly surprised that you actually took the time to try and revise this story-most people reply to my comments with "Fuck off" or something along those lines...not that I'm blaming them.)

It's definitely much improved from the first version of this that I remember seeing. Though one small thing that you could improve in the next chapter, that kind of bothers me a little bit now in the first chapter (not sure if this was in the previous version or not) is the contradictions the OC keeps making...with herself?

Colloquial (casual) language is to be expected from first person POVs but she keeps posing hypophoras (where she asks a rhetorical question and then immediately answers it) generally with a "Nope" or "Perhaps" or "Anyways" that kind of makes it confusing as to what is really going on. Does she really think that? Or not? It's like watching a ping pong match within the main character's own mind...

- CharitinaX

Thanks for this. Looking forward to reading the edited version. Hoping I will still be able to leave reviews, as FF may think I've left one already as I did review the earlier version.

Well, four chapters in, I think we've established a few things about this story:
1. Main character is an angsty teenage ass (to everyone and anyone), which is especially surprising considering the pairing
2. Main character has serious anger management issues that should probably be addressed by a therapist
3. Main character seems to hate people for generally no reason at all esp. since literally nothing Lauren or Jessica has truly said could be interpreted in the way the OC did, at least not if she wasn't highly paranoid and/or wasn't so disgustingly rude
4. Main character has a mental illness (sociopathy?)
5. First person narratives are still generally crappy, especially when they involve using your own name/username as the OC's name
6. There's nothing humorous or romantic about this story so far, either so mislabelling?
7. This story feels like one of those appallingly nonsensical fanfics where the OC is rude AF to everyone but "oh no, it's just because of her tragic past!" or "she's protecting herself" bullshit and we find out later on "don't worry, she's actually super duper compassionate-but only to hot, sexy, vampires!"

Honestly, I don't see a single reason why someone like this OC shouldn't die alone, miserable, and pathetic. You can't try and make this story seem "realistic" because of her personality flaws or whatever and then toss us into some bullshit wet dream where "it's okay if you're complicated, people will take the time to know you better and see past the fact that you're a totally introverted, anti-social bitch".

More disappointed than anything else,
CharitinaX

This is not a story. There is no plot or character development. You pose hundreds of questions and ideas that you never answer and most often never even fully develop. It's like you got bored of yourself and decided to simply stop writing.

~Z~