Hilarious, cute, and absolutely incredible. Thank you for such an amazing piece!

He He He ... bib ... infant dragon ... fire ... He He He.

Again, these are issues that Dumbledore would never willingly discus in public. I don't even think Harry would want most of it discussed in front of the student body.

Dumbledore's reasons sound a lot more like rationalizations and lies to me. When did Dumbledore ever meet with the Dursleys? He put the baby on the doorstep and even refused to ring the doorbell lest he interact with those Muggles in person and give them a chance to refuse to take the toddler. If Dumbledore really had been concerned about Harry being around magic, would he really have let him jump from no magic at the Dursleys directly to the super-saturated magic at Hogwarts with no period of acclimatization and observation and testing in between? He was courting disaster in not taking it slow and testing first to see if Harry could actually survive around light magic and medium magic before Hogwarts magic. Also, Harry suffers pain, but there's no hint of him struggling to fight off a possession until the DoM event at the end of fifth year. Then there's the question of if writing to friends necessarily leads to visiting with them in their homes or in Diagon Alley. The answer, of course, is no. As a matter of fact, it works just the opposite: the longer Harry goes without hearing from his friends the more desperate he becomes to see them in person. Dumbledore is being disingenuous again when he talks about Lily Evans being overheard talking to her friends in Gryffindor House about her sister. He knows full well that Severus Snape, the Death Eater, was a neighbor to the Evans family and knew both Petunia and Lily personally. If other Death Eaters wanted to know about Lily's family they would ask Snape, not some anonymous Gryffindor friends.

It's Mrs Figg, not Miss Figg, and she really is a squib, there is no "next thing to" about it.

I have not ever read any other story where Ron becomes a king, but I have read somewhere before the idea that Harry couldn't be around magic for some reason. In that story he was raised by Sirius who chose to live as a Muggle around Harry.

You were doing fine until you had Dumbledore blurt out in public "that is a horcrux, Miss Granger". Dumbledore would never willingly say the word Horcrux in public, or reveal that Voldemort has created any such thing until after they were all collected and destroyed. He knows that if Voldemort knows that people are hunting for them he will move them to even more secure locations and put even more protections in place around them.

He He He! giant squid ... sexual display. He He He!

Really glad i stumbled onto this utterly overlooked amusing rant by chance. To wit, i liked the last two chapters most, somewhat disliked the fluff midstory.
More power to you, dear author!
Keep up the good work.

Just out of curiosity, how many times did you laugh your head off while you were writing this story? Good grief, this is a VERY silly yarn. I was giggling the entire time. Keep up the good work with sillyness & excellent writing.

-.-

Just found this delightful story today. It's a wonderful plot, using the "Weasley is our King" song to actually make him a unilateral monarch (over wizarding Britain at least).

Displaying the DE heads was quite the wake-up call to the wizarding world. Dumbledore's explanation of why Harry had to be in a non-magical environment was quite interesting, but certainly didn't excuse the years of callous manipulation he performed. Removing Dumbledore from any position of influence was a fitting punishment.

Snape's solitary confinement on the island wasn't too bad as he could still research and brew, but such isolation could cause quite a few long-term issues. Seventeen years as a clown was a bit over the top, but Ron was still a fifteen year old. :)

Original idea and well-executed. Good job!

SUPERB story, trust me! At first, the idea was absolutely absurd; Ron running around like a king and behaving like an arrogant prat at first, then when I got the idea of JUSTICE to all of them (in caps) well that was totally cool. I like the fact that there was a chapter for Snape at the end . . .

Are the names of the parents' of Hermoine really Daniel and Emma? Sure you haven't copied them from Radcliffe and Watson?

Just one tiny flaw with the story, my personal opinion, don't mind much.

Isn't 25 years, er, too early to have a grandson?

Nice! I loved the last line of this chapter - he'd ALWAYS let the quaffle in XD is there any more to the story, or is this the end?

Very much enjoying! It's original, interesting and funny.

By and large, your English is excellent too -

Though there's one recurring oops: The use of reflexive pronouns. These include Myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, oneself, ourselves, yourselves, and themselves.

You tend to use them as replacements for simple objective pronouns (me, him, her, us, them). Examples:

Right usage: "felt a tense part of himself" "quickly brought herself back" "attempt to give herself a hint" "hunching himself deeper" "declaring himself to be a pureblood" "Hermione allowed herself"

Wrong usage: "until a sudden thought distracted herself" "learn everything possible they could teach herself." "what had been mesmerizing herself" [ch. 17:] "the young man across from herself" "Ron grumpily staring at herself" "Hermione herself spoke first" [Or, in Chapt. 16:] "peculiar looks given to herself by the other girls" "when the young man seated in his chair across from herself"

The crucial cue about "reflexive" is that it means "goes back." I.e., the reflexive pronoun goes back to the subject of the sentence or clause. If something else, other than that self, is the subject, then a reflexive pronoun is going back to the wrong thing!

In the above examples, "herself" is the object of the verb or preposition; but "she" is not the subject of the sentence! The subjects (or preposition beginning the phrase) are: thought; they; what; young man / across from; peculiar looks/other girls. If "Hermione" or "she" was not the subject, then "herself" cannot be the object. A simple "her" would be precisely correct.

(Similarly in ch. 19: "at what had just been asked of herself" - "what" is the subject; "and then apprehensively regard herself" - Ron; "stained glass window now in front of herself" - window;

It is a very common error; I've seen fairly well-educated people make it (though usually, not English or Journalism Majors). Some people think "herself" sounds more formal or "posh" than a plain "her." But it is a grammar error. (Worse yet is when people use the reflexive to substitute for a Subjective pronoun: "Myself will be there at 10."!)

For more and better details on how to handle them, Google Reflexive Pronouns.

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Only other issues so far: One must watch out for irregular verbs - it's "had begun", not had began (ch. 19). "young king also begin to laugh" also began

And videos: while the first widespread purchasing of VCRs did occur in the late 70s, they were mostly used for off-the-air recording of TV shows. (Expensive, too: $800-1000; dropping to 400-500 when I got my first one in '85.) Pre-recorded movies for purchase by consumers did not become widely available till about 1982; and then they cost about $80-100! So most people rented tapes. Reasonably-priced tapes, $15-20, did not become common till the late 80s.

More to the point: 20/Fox, not MGM, was the first and only studio available in late 70s. According to mobo85:

"The very first commercial releases of films on home video were released by Magnetic Video in 1977, consisting of 50 titles on VHS and Betamax licensed from a near-bankrupt 20th Century Fox. I am unsure of the cost, but the first video rental store- founded the same year and offering all of Magnetic's titles in both formats- would let you rent them for $10 a night (plus a $50 annual membership fee).

So if you accept canon's 9/19/79 birthday for Hermione, her parents would not, years before, have had a home copy of Gigi.

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"King Ronald the First" does have an amusing ring to it, admittedly. But it contravenes the way kings are named and numbered. There is never a king called "Bumpass I" until there is a "Bumpass II." E.g., there was only one Queen Victoria, one Queen Anne, one King John. None were ever called "the first," because there never was a "second." The first Queen Elizabeth was never called I until there was a II. Numbers are unnecessary for something unique, until it's no longer unique.

"he'd just won the game for the other side" by letting the quaffle in. So does that mean they were playing without snitches or seekers? (Because, as everyone knows, a standard game of quidditch doesn't end till one of the seekers catches the snitch.)

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I especially like that, for once, both Harry and Ron got their dreams. Good story; and definitely good enough for my C2!

Keep writing! Best wishes,

David

Wow, that's some attention to detail. Bet Ron wishes the spell had ignored that portion of the song. :)

Hah. Nice chapter.

... What the hell?

Why isn't there more reviews for this story? What is WRONG with people?

Hilarious! I don't have time to read the whole thing now, I have to be somewhere, but that was great, seriously. I have not actually heard of another story with a King Ron, though I had amused myself with the thought a few times after having read the Order of the Phoenix for the first time. But this is awesome! You need to be a bit more careful with your sentence structures because I got a bit lost for a few moments several times... though that can be because I'm sick right now... Er... yeah, I'll just review again when I get the chance to read the rest.

~Vayah

Great story. I really like how Ron come unto his own and actually get it. It is humorous and a story that just carries you along. Well done! I'd like to thank you for taking the time to share your efforts with the rest of us. :)