Actually, Jace would play you the piano, and say a romantic speech, but still. Edward is blah

Haha, I enjoyed reading this. Its not something I have ever come across. Did someone say Originality! Keep up the great work!

Firstly, how can you find anon's opinions offensive (aside from their rudeness)? He/she makes extremely valid statements. No matter how good a writer is, they will never be able to emulate the character the writer created. You or I or anyone but Cassandra Clare will ever be likely to create Jace. Only CC knows what Jace is truly like; we get glimpses into the character, whereas she knows his mind inside out, because it's part of her own.

Truly, reading chapter 1, I did not think you understood him at all. Jace is witty, sarcastic and cynical as you mentioned (but failed to show), but also sensitive and vulnerable beneath that. I did not get this impression from what you wrote, and honestly, if that was what he was like, I would prefer EC.

I agree that bad language is poor conduct, and that the review was extremely unhelpful.

Write fanfiction about books you do love. Maybe you could write better FanFic about something you really enjoyed.

Yes, it was very rude to say it took too much of his/her time. That person made the decision to read it. You didn't force them to sit there and stare at their computer/ phone etc. Although, I think a person who doesn't like the FanFic SHOULD bother to write a review, so they can tell you where you're going wrong.

Some specifics:
You're my sister! You're crazy, girl!

Thinking Clary was his sister almost tore Jace apart. He was in love with her, and he hated himself for it. He thought that he had demon blood, and that that explained the attraction to her. He would not joke about incest.

And really, open the book to a page with Jace speaking. Can you imagine him saying that?

You misquoted Edward too. It's 'and so the LION falls in love with the lamb.”
Personally, I feel 'yes, I'm a demon and I do need an angel,” is far less poetic, romantic and sounds clichéd. Also, Jace enjoys slaughtering demons, and so would be unlikely to use a metaphor depicting him as one. Especially after the whole 'I have demon blood' incident...

Edward will not right you a song, but he may write you a song...

Jace isn't lazy. And personally, if a guy doesn't make any effort at all, I wouldn't want him...

Next one is far better to the rest, and actually showed off your sense of humour. Well done. Only Edward was prepared to sacrifice anything for Bella, even his life. I think right now it's 'cool' to say how much you hate EC, but I think he a pretty damn good man if he goes to any length to please you, however unnecessarily. He loves with a love that is undoubted, and people want to detract from that. Usually the people who do are complete idiots; fair enough if you want to make a real, informed point, but I'm kind of sick of all the idiots by now... I'm not including you in either category, because you didn't say enough to show which one you were. All I'll say society needs to through out that broken record..

No real criticism for the next one, other than Jace is probably a realistic person. Jocelyn is a fierce woman!

Next is not especially reminiscent of Jace. Would he wait by the door to give you a big hug? I honestly don't know.

Alec is not Jace's slave, and would probably tell him to go to hell. Or something more profane, but as bad language is poor conduct...

No comment on the next one... I'm not quite sure what you're talking about.

And so on, really.

Story-writing improves with practise though, and so don't let this discourage you. I hope this will be a learning experience for you, actually.

BlackHeartedTigress

aka, not Anonymous, so feel free to reply.

I really liked it but u should have also said Edward doesn't have hot abs jace does and jace has a prettier snow white okay it isn't just me that notices that both Lilly Collins and Kristin Stewart both play snow white

LOL Sweet team Jace all the way xx

you're totally wrong, jace is nothing like that. You've totally messed up the facts and his character, as well as edward's (not that I care about his, but oh well)
so please just bull****
go read the series again, I say
Though I must say I LOVE Jace Wayland/Herondale/Lightwood/Morgenstern whichever one you prefer
First of all, Jace won't be in your nightmares, it is edward
He won't also just do nothing- he can play the piano really well with his long thin fingers that run in the Herondale bloodline- just like Will's fingers-Jem commented on them and suggested the potential of a musical talent
Jace wouldn't also do that crap with the waitress-edward would notice her gender and her thoughts, just ignore them-perhaps jace would comment on how stunning he is to the women around him and make a sarcastic remark about how many women has drooled upon laying eyes on his face etc
Jace also does have a poetic way of expressing his feelings, like Will did for Tessa, just as we see in his letter for Clary when he left to search for Sebastian believing he had demon blood in him
So really, this list is taking up too much of my time, just take a look at this again

That is Awesome yeah Jace would instead of just standing by and letting you die he would do something to stop it, Right?

I totally agree with your little opinion

AMAZINGNESS!

JACE FOR THE WIN!

Who would choose dark, brooding, soul tearing, depressing and possessive over sarcastic, total badassdom, HILAROUS, quick-witted, passionate, infuriating, GORGEOUS and most definitely not sparkly? That's what I wannna know :P

I agree with the shirt:

Real boys don't sparkle.

You know, unless you're Magnus. But he's gay, so it doesn't count.

Sorry, got a bit carried away there...

Blue :)

Lol I loved this, anyway another reason why I would pick Jace is because he dosen't make the faye look straight. More body glitter anyone?

And jace is just plain funny whereas Edward is dry

well, do I continue? Just give me some time to inspire myself, is that I'm trying to finish City of Glass :) please leave comments!

jveibtgbnirutbnitrunb agreeing so much with you right now.

here's another one, imade it up just for you-

Edward will watch you like a creep while your sleeping.

Jace will be sleeping WITH you, unless he's off killing vampires watching you sleep, that is.

Oh and anohter one for bella vs clary-

Bella will try to kill herslef when you leave.

Clary will do everything in her power HELP you while your gone.

I liked it. Jace is win.

Love.

Beth

I totally agree Jace has always and will always be a million times better then Edward