Good story.

So kushina, who should have known her son wasn't dead (after all, he'd have the uzumaki and senju genes), was "mentally and physically weak"? But apparently not too weak, if she left the village instantly and traveled for years. That doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense. How could anybody be that big of an idiot?

Didn't it seem a bit weird too her that all funds and the mansion suddenly got sealed up for naruto if naruto wasn't alive? Sill a good story. But the part with kushina is a little tough too shoe-horn in and make it believable.

"well shit"? Why, that group is stronger then any entire village put together, just 50? Easy, especially since only 25 jounin, very easy! Or just turn invisible, or just sapeshift, or just make them not remember that naruto's group is there, or just teleport. They've got like dozens of options. Entire villages shouldn't be really a threat anymore.

I don't really understand the need to leave sasuke alive in this one, I mean naruto isn't gonna have to have that whole convoluted "power of the sage" and all that, so sasuke really becomes kinda redundant. Not to mention there is already a huge gap in their power-levels (naruto and dumb-dumb) so even there, sasuke can no longer be naruto's "foil", so really, he's already lost his only reasons too exist.

Well technically naruto isn't.. As he's no longer human, so they are technically different species.

I think "chakra control" is author code for "I have no idea what jutsus to give him"! It's gotta be, every story has him training it up twice, three times, sometimes more. Nobody can need THAT much control, with shadow clones, heck most people wouldn't even LIVE LONG ENOUGH for mastering it too that level!

Free her? Why in heaven's name would naruto ever do that? That's just begging the akutski too separate them and take her! Also if she's freed the sharringan will work on her again! So it's actually a lot saner and SAFER for her and him, for her too stay INSIDE! Naruto essentially has a plethora of enemies, and even he can't be everywhere, especially not with all the mates he has and all the clones doing recon.. So them sticking as close as possible too each other is really the only way too keep them both as safe as can be expected. Get Itachi on their side? Oh yes, lets get the "homicidal, psychopath with a suicide fantasy" on our side, because that never ends badly.

A little too much exposition, instead of giving him an INSTRUCTION manual multiple times in the story, just have him USING them. I never could understand why authors spell out every little thing they give naruto. It really writes them into a corner when the fighting starts. "how will I pull this off"? Seriously? He's a shape-shifting, illusion casting. turn invisible when he wants, being that now has the rinnegan and EVERYTHING else. I mean really, shouldn't he be able to read the forbidden scroll by just hanging outside of the home and using the byakugan too read the scroll through the walls and the sharringan to immediately memorize it! But all in all, good story.

Also the problem I have in a lot of stories is with the hyuuga.. Number one, the elders don't really matter (the only time you see them is in ff... They have NO SAY IN ANYTHING).. Number two.. with hinata and negji.. You realize that hiashi and his brother were IDENTICAL twins right? That means they have the EXACT same dna... Meaning PHYSICALLY hinata and negji are BLOOD SIBLINGS... There isn't anyway even their clan would risk the corruption there... "it would taint their eyes"... and number 3.. Being with sasuke? multiple problems there. Number one he hasn't PROVEN himself.. (lets face it, on every mission naruto did the heavy lifting!) Number two.. A problem with heredity, they all got their eye abilities from ONE source, mixing now might END their powers. Number 4... The hyuuga HATE the uchiha, it's an age-long hate (like the hatfields and mccoys)... you wouldn't even put them on the same team together! (which in itself is a horrible idea.. LAST SHARRINGAN user and UNMARKED HYUUGA FEMALE.. it's basically screaming "KIDNAP US"!) THINK LOGICALLY with a story...Also that whole thing with hinata and kiba? Why would you have a clan member, even one you wanted gone, be with DOGS? You'd have the entire clan wake up with fleas! (they'd never recover, their "status" would become zilch!).. so see? Kiba hitting on her would NOT be tolerated by the CLAN as a whole! It's a dumb idea, played out in a LOT of stories (that aren't thinking).. Shino would even be WORSE, (although not done much) but his clan is ALREADY hated/distrusted, he tries and it might be the uchiha massacre all over again.

You got 8 girls, that you've said with MOST OF THEM NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH NARUTO! Akane, I'll give you, that SHOULD be his #1 girl... (she's BASICALLY A PART OF HIM)... Anko?.. Ok that one works too... Same as him seen the underbelly of the village.. It works. The rest?.. NOT SURE ABOUT kushina makes NO SENSE.. She SHOULD have been there... FUCK WHAT THE HOKAGE SAID, the others?.. I TRULY HATE MIKOTO and the others live in other villages, IT JUST DOESN'T WORK.. AND THEY ARE ALL old enough to be either his mother or GRANDMOTHER.

Why for satan's sake would you keep that dumb bitch mikoto alive? Isn't she what started the mess?

You know I don't GET the whole "secret identity" In comics it's kinda needed... I mean, the person has power and does stuff but others would WANT IT or try to stop them, so.. it's kinda mandated... Here? EVERYONE has superpowers.. So kinda pointless.

Mikoto? The woman that SOLD OUT kushina in canon? THE FUCKTARD WITH THE RETARDED CLAN? Nope, DONE WITH THIS STORY.. KILL HER OFF AND YOU HAD A GOOD STORY!

Well to be honest with naruto not believing her, it IS kinda a stretch, how canon expects us to believe shit..I mean come on, the eyes of the guy dead for HUNDREDS of years gets passed to the fourth's student that goes wacko and kills his teacher (that he thought of as a father) and his wife (which you never explain exactly, why go after kushina if she never held the bijuu? Or why wait till now? If she wasn't the factor). "as to how I know this"... What naruto doesn't own a mirror? It's KINDA OBVIOUS! (down to the hair-style in fact!)

Well right there, with the whole "every time he would ask his grandfather"... He now knows he's LYING.. He's been lying his entire life... Love turns to HATE very easily, and hating that idiot the third is INCREDIBLY easy! Wanna hurt him? HURT HIS VILLAGE! It's what I would do! (hurting the village is relatively EASY... You do something too PROVE to the rest of the world it ISN'T as good as it says it is... You BREAK it's rep... Again fairly simple, considering the amount of low-llifes in it! OR you wanna shatter the heart of the village? Simple, kill the "last" uchiha. THEN you hurt them ALL and you hurt the hokage! BAD. It would be kinda IRONIC too, since he PROMISED minato too look after naruto and he PROMISED itachi that nothing bad would happen to sasuke.. It's kinda POETIC that the first one he failed, kills the second!) I hate the third, always have, he's a PATHETIC LEADER at BEST.. A two-faced back stabbing piece of garbage at worst!

I always thought the concept of the naruto series was flawed.. Naruto basically gets the "infinity gauntlet" from birth... He's really got only three choices... Be THANOS and NOBODY fucks with you (because it's a death sentence).. Be WARLOCK and just so unknowable that nobody can get to you and you split it off.. OR Be MAGUS and CONQUER everyone... (there is a difference, thanos KILLS you and everyone you have ever known and DOESN'T CARE. never even met you... MAGUS lords it in your face, that he is far beyond you!) Regardless of how you tell the tale, naruto has what is ESSENTIALLY ultimate power... There really is only a few things you can do with that.. (because everyone else wants it). Really, barring a lot of "plot armor" this story isn't gonna end WELL for the world.

Um not to be mean but isn't by talking to naruto the definition of the "mighty kyuubi breaking free" met? I mean essentially IT IS! The people of konoha are BASICALLY destroying the seal EVEN HERE. Otherwise naruto would never have MET the kyuubi. The hokage is a VERY screwed-up person (either senile or just VERY STUPID) He's GOTTA know, seals can only take so much damage before they break... And I get he can't control how everyone acts (although danzo does a HELL of a better job in his position!) but shouldn't he REMOVE NARUTO from said environment? Doesn't that seem a LOT saner and more logical? Or tell everyone WHO he is? OR just SHUT THE HELL UP about what he holds? ANY OF THESE seem more LOGICAL. Ninja are SUPPOSED to be "shadows" that's even their NAME for heaven's sake... But he is HORRIBLE about keeping ANY secret. (he has diarrhea of the mouth, in the TERMINAL phase).

I don't get how the invasion happened at all.. I mean don't they have a BARRIER for these kinda things? (I realize that was written in later, but it was SUPPOSED too have been there from the first hokage and it SHOULD have stopped most of the forces AND all the summons! Not to mention EVERYONE should have known about garaa the second he stepped FOOT in the village!) This is why you NEVER write history retroactively! You never write future events that determine the past.. Because it ALWAYS makes what you have written before INVALID! (and your god of your story.. GOD shouldn't be ABLE to be wrong!)

Well I do like the harem, but I think you should throw in a few girls naruto's OWN age.. I mean when he's 30 they are ALL gonna be collecting Social Security for heaven's sake! Throw him a FEW bones that aren't gonna be walking with a walker in 30 years! Just NOT temari.. She's ALREADY spoken for and she's KINDA a bitch! Besides, blonde with blonde? YUCK, boring! I always like the triple threat.. Sakura (sasuke should die anyway.. So no problem), Hinata (it's what she was created for, and it's what her character is DESIGNED to be for) and Ino (sai and root are dead too, so no prob) There is always tenten too as she doesn't end up with anyone.. But I've already put three out there and you said two, but I'm just saying.. she's an option. Personally I don't like samui and yugito... and most DEFINITELY don't like kurenai... The first two, because different villages (and kumo would NOT let it's jinchuriki out) so no time to be together, what's the POINT of having them? And kurenai? She's lived in the same village as naruto, HAD to know who he was, and did NOTHING.. She's PATHETIC! Undeserving of a spot! Plus in canon, she KNEW how hinata feels about him but didn't help her go after him (even knowing HE'S A CLAN HEIR ALSO!) No, she's an uber-bitch! AND she's spoken for (the son of a complete moron is good enough for her!)

I gotta admit the concept of canon is a little...FAR FETCHED...But so is most of the story.. I also hate KIRI.. Especially since Kimmoto in an interview, said that it was a "mistake" on his part... Jinchuriki can't BE controlled with the sharringan! So the mizukage was an OOPS in his writing. and it's where SO MANY STORIES GO TOO DIE! So many stories send naruto there (for some BIZARRE reason and that's where they STOP). Because really after naruto has fought in a WAR, killed MULTIPLE times, beaten a jinchuriki KAGE and killed dozens of jounin... Konoha, the chunin exams (even WITH the invasion) and such, are kinda "EASY PEASY!" EVERYTHING in the series is kinda a "walk through"! (probably why naruto never WENT THERE in canon!)

I always thought FF existed to FIX what the writer did WRONG, but with a "self-told" mistake? I dunno why everyone keeps COPYING IT! Take the "civil war" and THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW (never happened.. It was an OOPS!)

Also most of the "secrets" of naruto? PRETTY EASY TO FIGURE OUT, like here... "who controlled you?", "what did he look like"... "one-eyed uchiha"... ? Hmm who could that be.. Quick trip to records.. TA DA.. There is only ONE it could be... Obitedo takes like 30 seconds to figure out! ALL the "secrets" are just about THAT easy to figure out! Who is in the akutski? Simple.. Which s-ranks have "disappeared".. POOF, you got your membership list! The already mentioned in a review "uchiha massacre".. All this stuff is REALLY, REALLY easy too figure out! Naruto's parents (has nobody SEEN a picture of the fourth? Let alone the MASS senility and amnesia the village seems to suffer from!)

I saw from the chapter titles your gonna send him to kiri? I find this a HORRIBLE idea, A LOT of authors do that (for some bizarre reason) and it always ends the same way... THE STORY STOPS... Kiri is a DEATH KNELL... It's a piece of trash part of the story that should NEVER have been mentioned... Naruto goes off to it (and wins it, because he's "the child of destiny").. THEN WHAT? He's OBVIOUSLY more powerful then ANYONE ELSE in his age group.. He now has experience in WAR which puts him on par with the jounnin and kages! His name is KNOWN throughout the elemental nations as his picture so the "identity cover up" is SHOT TO HELL and then he'll want answers from the village he comes from (and THEY will want answers too). EVERYTHING crumbles, if he fights in that war.. masked not masked, hiding not hiding.. IT DOESN'T MATTER... It's a quagmire. You have to re-write the story from the ground up the SECOND he goes there... So why not start in the beginning? COMPLETELY RE-WRITE the ENTIRE thing. Make it a touch more LOGICAL.. Like "the hokage knows he cannot protect naruto from the hearts of the people which have turned dark, regardless of minato's wishes, so he sends kushina and baby naruto to wave, to return later with a license to kill whomever, he tells people that YES they both DID survive, and NO, he won't be revealing where they are." SEE? LOGICAL! Fugaru throws a fit that lasts for years until the hokage has had enough and kills the clan... (maybe all of them, I never understood the LOGIC behind leaving the son of the clan head that STARTED it all, alive.. THAT SEEMS REALLY DUMB!) Danzo shuts the hell up and doesn't even attempt anything for fear that he'll make enemies out of the people he WANTS back in the village! You tell itachi that "yes he'll be taken care of", blah blah blah.. and when itachi's gone? You have him murdered in the hospital. (it's a village of assassins!) Seems a LOT saner to me!

I just kinda found it a "DUH" kinda thing when the uchiha clan was wiped out and THEY WERE THE POLICE FORCE! Nobody noticed that it was done in a SINGLE NIGHT by ONE individual? (contrary to popular ff belief, obitedo DID NOT help)... and NO ALARM WAS SOUNDED? Kinda OBVIOUS it was an "ordered hit"... The fact that NO ANBU of ANY clan tells WHO ordered the hit too. (this doesn't take a detective, simply a WORKING BRAIN!) AND THEN THE "naruto problem".. This is ALL KINDS OF STUPID.. Number 1 the clan heads (and a lot of jounin) should have KNOWN both kushina and minato ALL their lives, so should have known who naruto was.. Plus the fact he's a minato CLONE with a personality and a verbal tic that's EXACTLY like kushina would have been a DEAD GIVEAWAY! Add in minato's "martyr complex" and who he would have entrusted power too?.. and that whole "the hokage can't interfere with clan matters" then naruto should never have been put in an orphenage nor hidden, since it was ESSENTIALLY a "CLAN MATTER"... Also that whole law doesn't work because negji and hinata are, in addition to being clan members, a NINJA RESOURCE.. To do ANYTHING to them, compromises the village.. REGARDLESS of "clan matters"... Effectively it's "checks and balances" that's popular in america.. They've ALL shot themselves in the foot on what CAN be done.. And what CANNOT.. If the clans make a move (branding hinata after she's a ninja) they can LEGALLY wipe out the clan... Same with naruto, when he was BORN the clans were FROZEN as to what to do, the second the hokage announced his having the kyuubi? ALL BETS WERE OFF with them helping him, regardless of orders. "clan matters" (because that would TECHNICALLY be a "clan secret") would predicate the third ordering anyone to do anything in regards to naruto. (the third f*cked up.. HUGE time! By his OWN laws.).. So naruto getting hunted or hurt is LUDICROUS and him NOT being known for who is is by adults is EVEN MORE DUMB (it doesn't work!)The ONLY way it works is the clans were SPECIFICALLY told NOT to help him by the hokage which as I said VIOLATES his own laws, and becomes non-sanctioned. Naruto (in the way the canon tells it) should NEVER have grown up in konoha, it's just stupid.

If I had to pick a harem it would be: kyuubi (whatever the name and it would be a woman), Anko, Yugito, Fuu, Hinata, Shion, Amaru, Iserebi, Koyuki, Sasame, Karin and MAYBE sakura.

Kushina I get. uzumakis' have REALLY long lifespans... Anko I kinda get (she's had the same crap as naruto to a lesser extent)... Yugito too I get, because of again the extended lifespan.. Alane I really get and SHOULD have been in canon (it just makes sense) the others?.. NOT SO MUCH!

Never understood hunting the older women in naruto, number one, they have been at their trade for a while, so "hunting" them would be "fish in a barrel" they LIKE POWER, they've SEEN IT. Number two, their ALL old enough to be his MOTHER, just yuck... Number three, they all look hot NOW but REMEMBER after the series ended, anko turns into a BLIMP samui is either gonna follow or her tits are gonna sag onto the FLOOR, and kurenai becomes the typical "house mom".. NONE of these are good things..

I realize that NONE of the girls he grows up with are worth a pint of cold pee... BUT they are what you got pick from. So change them up... Hinata isn't QUITE the wallflower, and DECIMATES her opponents in tai-jutsu... (just hates the class and can't pick a fight if her life depends on it.. "warrior reflex"), Sakura is book smart to the TEETH, but is like sheldon on the big bang and can't read even the most OBVIOUS social ques (kinda close to canon there) sucks at genjutsu because she can't make anything BELIEVABLE! Hana is next in line to lead the inzukia (I dunno why ffs forget this) NOT KIBA.. (he's superfluous) ALL the "kids" in the series are damaged in some way, the adults are not making a "better world" their making quite a WORSE one for their kids...