I’ve read this story three times since I first found it
And I think this is always my favorite chapter 3

Still love this story even through the emotional parts that still bring me to tears- literally. :)

It's too bad that you got rid of its sequel; but no worries, I know you'll think of something your a great writer.

If its not to much can I suggest a couple of somethings... in the sequel you have Ash sort of come back to life in a new body but what if Charlie & Pikachu (probably Grayson too) time travel. Its possible there is Celebi who could probably accidentally sent them traveling back in time- original but seems to work; this was inspired by from the final chapter near the end when Charlie asks Grayson "... Could I really change the past?", you probably meant it in a different way but that got me thinking about time travel & Celebi. Or what about Ash never really died & still held prisoner in the clutches of Team Rocket; of course you can ignore this part, this was an earlier idea when I was reading your story because I forgot if they actually buried Ash but of course they did so sorry please ignore.

I'll stop talking/typing now.

~xLunaxNightingalexDuskx

P.S. just to remind you I still love this story; I even like the sequel that you put- later deleted- because it was interesting & different(in a good way)

Such a beautiful and heartbreaking story. You are a very talented writer! A fan fiction has never made me cry so much before.

this is one of those stories I want to stop reading (the feels) but just can't (the feels)!
I love it!

So this story takes place before Kalos and Alola?

maybe u should have a chapter where charlie is asleep and ash (spirit form) visits her and he explains a few things to her and how arceus "owes" (cant spell) him (ash) qnd he tells chqrlie that if she can find arceus there is a chance to bring ash back bcz u cant just leave us there eith no sequel or any more chapters AND YOU CANT HAVE THE WHOLE STORY WITH ASH "dead" and NOT REVIVE HIM AT THE END (or near the end)

Amaxing story

The story was so awsome...u know at the league final battle i was also thinking that ash would comeout of his hideout or something

First of all, let me say that I was blown away. I usually despise stories with OC main characters but I couldn’t stop reading this one! I love how masterfully written it is, and it’s a definite page turner! The story’s end was satisfying but I can’t help but be intrigued by the last sentence. Just as the story is wrapping up you throw a sentence in that changes everything. Wow! This story has great sequel potential, I hope to see one. Thank you for a wonderful story.
P.S.
From the moment that you mentioned that Team Rocket tried to help Ash get out and that he had a daughter, for some reason I thought that Jessie and James raised her. Then you introduced Christina and Daniel West and I was disappointed. And then I was proven right suddenly in the last few chapters! It was a pleasant surprise. Also it seemed fishy to me how Ash had time to plan out and write this whole scavenger hunt while trapped in a cave about to die, so I thought there was something fishy about that... lol

Thank you!
This story really made me laugh and cry and was a real page the best one I have ever read and it's also my thank you for sharing it with m.I loved it.
From
Calcium

So I take it that Ruby's last name is Hamilton. Actually, Gary's eyes are brown. Rest of my review:

Charlie doesn't even know Delia. That's so sad. Aw, we don't get to see Ash's letter to Cilan!

Yeah, Cilan's an encyclopedia for sure. So Iris gets to meet Gary. Cool.

I wonder which one the "HB" is in Dawn's eyes: Maggie or Ruby?

Wow. What an after thought, Ruby.