Bro, are you gonna finish this?

FINAL FANTASY! CHOCOBO!

This would be a much better story without the extensive a/n and Omakes!

did the story go?
Did someone hi jack it or something?
If it doesn’t come back, I may have to stop reading

Too much direct quoting from JKR’s work.

I liked the 52nd state!

Wild story!

Hmm.. Overall, wtf.

Started as a very unique and promising time-travel story where Harry et al DIDN'T just rehash and barely change canon. THANK YOU FOR WRITING SOMETHING UNIQUE!

A good beta reader could have really improved your writing. Both by adding punctuation and catching your "your/you're" and "there/their/they're" mistakes, of which there are a lot.

Second, the crossovers. Less is more.

Finally, I'm annoyed that you marked this complete when it's really "Abandoned never to be finished."

Why do Fred and George need money if they won 10,000,000 galleons earlier?

Overall this was a fun story and had some neat concepts. You probably want to do some editing as there are a bunch of typos and some character confusion with Astoria and Luna's sisters. As far as actual problems with the story; there are a few. The flash backs are never fully explained and they are annoying long. You do not need to put in 3 or so paragraphs from the books for people to get the idea, you could have easily paraphrased those. The same goes for the recaps they were overly long and sort of unnecessary. Then you muddled things up with too many crossovers or rather you dumped in all these things and did not do a great job of integrating them. Plus there were a number of plot points, like Dumbledore's removal, that were arbitrary and sloppily done. Now the ending, well that is pretty much a complete cop out. Despite all that the story was still reasonably entertaining it could just be a lot better.

Oh god.

You can't spell. First check of you being a braindead retard.
You just kind throw a bunch of words and try to pass them as a story. Second check of you being a retard.

This is fucking awful. Delete this bullshit, and never write on here again. You're obviously too stupid to have the privilege.

20... But I thought Harry played Kingdom Hearts? XD

Ronfoy... DED. KEK.

So let me see if i am understanding this correctly.

You start off with a really interesting storyline then what get board and decide to start throwing in about 20 different plot lines, randomly seeming to change things, having it so even thought with all the power available to harry (magical, financial, political and in allies) he is unable to do anything about dealing with the ministry.

Then you feel for some reason i just don't unstand take Albus and kill him in a different fanfic because reasons (maybe you felt you could not justify how to keep messing up harry and the harems' life. So you kill him off story.

Speak of, you also said you where not going to involve the Greek gods and low and behold they now seem to want to kill harry. O and lets just make Voldemort a near god with random crossover ever other paragraph.

So you start with saying while there will be crossovers they will be more just in names and looks (see x-men) but then deside to throw in any tom, dick and harry from anywhere as long as you can make the story even more convoluted. By the end i could barley understand what plot points where left, what crossovers where involved and if you even know what you where doing.

Then you pull what i would considered on any fanfiction site an unforgivable, you make it as comple when there is no real ending, if you had a sequel MAYBE it could be considered and temp ending but no thats it the end and o look YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO PUT ABANDONED IN THE DESCRIPTION!

So here i am hoping to enjoy a story that has a beginning (9/10) a middle (started to loss your self around here 6/10) and a conclusive and defined end (2/10 what the hell was happened?)

As the end it felt like you had thrown 20 diffent storys together as you could not be bothered to write them all.

A am sadden as i have read another one of your harry potter harem story befor this one amd had high hopes after how much i enjoyed it. Now... Well i can see you have become only realy interested in Pokemon, so maybe you don't care but i hope you would have ether remake this story and kepted to a less messy polt lines or at least end this in a less fox tv sci-fi way.

Over all im afraid even after the amazing start i give this 3/10 as it falls apart at the end.